A letter to my 5-year-old niece.Â
Alina Karabaich, Copywriter
As youâre working your way towards GirlBoss-Hood, I hope your experiences as a woman are different than mine.
I hope you donât see toys and games as âfor boysâ or âfor girls.â Everyone deserves the thrill of twirling in a princess dress on a windy day and of chasing a friend with a fire-breathing LEGO dragon.
The same goes for emotions. Guess what? Big girls do cry. So do big boys. And little ones. Itâs okay to feel happy or sad or angry. If we didnât have the bad emotions, we wouldnât appreciate the good ones. Experiencing emotions does not make you a weak or naive woman. Or man. So, even if itâs not your party, cry if you need to. Or just watch an episode of Parenthood. Itâll do the trick. Â
I hope when you see another girl, your first inclination is to compliment her, not judge her. If we want society to empower us, we have to first empower each other. Competition for jobs, sports, or awards is a good motivator. Competition for attention is petty.
I hope you never use âweirdâ as an insult. In the wise words of Americaâs Weirdo Sweetheart, Amy Poehler, âNo one looks stupid when theyâre having fun.â If youâre tempted to throw out a âTheyâre weird,â replace it with âTheyâre having fun.â And then go join them. Â No sex has a claim on creativity. And no boss can overlook a smart, creative idea. You start out with an active imagination. Donât lose it along the way. Stay creative. Stay weird. Be nice to other women.
While youâre at it, be nice to men too. Being a strong, independent woman has nothing to do with hating men. If a man is condescending or disrespectful, that speaks to him as an individual, not to the sex as a whole. Be nice to everyone, and then let the ones who are nice back stick around.
Just as you shouldnât insult others for being different, I hope you donât insult yourself. Never spend more than thirty seconds in front of a mirror. You donât have to assume youâre the fairest of them all, but you also donât need to pick yourself apart. Know that just because it looks good on a hanger, doesnât mean it looks good on you. Every body type has its advantages. To look and feel your best, you have to dress for yours. And if you happen to have inherited mine, avoid ultra low-rise jeans at all costs.
On that note, I hope you never base your self-worth on a comparison. Just as we all have different body types, we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Donât ever think you arenât capable of something because youâre a girl, or because youâre short or tall, athletic, artistic, or any other trait. But you donât have to be the best at everything. Find people whose strengths are your weaknesses. Instead of being jealous, partner up with them. Just think of Oma and Grandad. Sheâs short. Heâs tall. At the grocery store, thereâs no shelf they canât reach!
In twenty years, I hope this letter feels archaic. I hope sexism is never a part of your life. That no one tells you that you canât succeed because youâre a woman, because you want a family, because youâre not as smart, strong, or powerful as a man. But if anyone does, I hope you use it as ammo. Then, one day, when youâve got your feet propped up in your corner office, with a baby on your lap and an award in your hand, you invite them over and ask, âWhat exactly is it that I canât do?â
When youâre my age, I hope someone asks your office how many women work there, and they donât know because they donât care. That you learn from our mistakes, so your generation can close the gap and find better things to talk about than the differences between girls and boys.
Above all, I hope that if you ever need a boost of girl power, you know thereâs always one person you can turn to: BeyoncĂŠ.