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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@thesingingknives
Follow the trail of fall footsteps And find your spot on top of the fence. It’s your best self defense. Just find a rhyme and drop your pen in a drink. And carry on without so much as a wink. Oh, but what will the neighbors think? But there is still something happening here. That won’t further your career Pontificator of the year.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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June 2001. Lake Geneva.
queer punk love is… on Flickr.
From Safety Pin Girl #12, summer 2001.
unfastening her studded belt & helping her get her “fuck white supremacy” t-shirt off.
from Safety Pin Girl #12, summer 2001
(Please do not be alarmed by my comment about wanting younger punk kids to have crushes on me. A. I was only 19 when I wrote this. B. I said I wanted them to have crushes on me, not that I wanted to reciprocate said crushes!)
“Punks Never Die,” Kenosha, summer 2001
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Are you pretending to love Well I hear that it pays well How do your pistol and your Bible and your Sleeping pills go? Are you still jumping out of windows in expensive clothes? Well I fell in love With your sailor’s mouth and your wounded eyes You better get down on the floor Don’t you know this is war Tell me who are you this time? Tell me who are you this time?
Basement Sneer, Walworth County, August 2000 (photo taken by my then-boyfriend)
A was for Anarchy // Evanston, IL // summer 2000
When it rains, it smells like summer // Evanston, IL // summer 2000
Me, writing slogans with chalk near the library parking lot. (August 2000)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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hallucinations
Do you see her face when she’s gone—sometimes so bright your heart just stops?
She is a Xerox of a Xerox of a grainy photograph, a smeared-toner smudge of a raised middle finger and sneering lipsticked lips. She is Chicago’s favorite ghost, a resurrection with her thumb out, hitching up and down Archer Avenue. S/he is dissolving into smoke beneath the L tracks between Belmont and Addison, into steam from a mug of November tea in a Milwaukee cafe. He is diving into a sea of arms at the Fireside Bowl, a patchworked monster of leather and denim. They are diving into a cornstalk sea, turning firefly. Invisible and beautiful, then gone. Again. Didn’t we almost.
Beagan on Belmont Ave., summer 2000.
Me and Lissa, summer 2000
Midnight Marauder spinning on my stereo Mr. Desmond Dekker got a crown made of gold The kids are alright a what a what I hear London calling but I have no fear Ms. Ella Fitzgerald got no peer Music sweet music make the truth so clear Classics of love make a dark day light If you don’t believe the words then just look into their eyes
yrs truly has a girlfriend. a real fucking girlfriend. not a girl that i have a crush on. not a girl that has a crush on me. not a girl to fool around with. not a long-distance relationship (whether that distance be simply 45 min. away or across a whole ocean) that will never amount to anything other than scribbled e-mails & plastic wedding rings sent by post. no, none of that. a real girlfriend. and her name is beagan. and she’s superduperhellapunkrockcool. she has spiky blue hair and her favorite band is the subhumans. i can kiss her & tell her secrets. she makes my heart beat like a drum in a crass song. and she has the softest lips.
this all started ages ago. the first time i saw her i thought she was the coolest, most beautiful girl i had ever seen in real life. (apparently, she sorta felt that same way about me, but i’ll get to that later.) when i finally got the courage to talk to her, we became friends, & we’ve hung out quite a bit since skool ended. i still had a crush (for lack of a better word) on her, but i didn’t say anything cos i’m sort of with d. & she was sort of with this guy m.
but we spent hours together on thursday, and at one point i looked at her & couldn’t breathe for a minute becos she was so beautiful. and i felt really awkward all of a sudden.
i had had too many cups of coffee, so that night i had plenty of time to not only have a panic attack, but also to lay awake & dwell on my feelings for beagan.
then, we hung out again the next day. and i couldn’t stand it, i had to tell her, but i was so scared. i didn’t even know she dug girls at all, much less me. but she finally dragged it out of me, & then she told me that she felt the same way about me. we talked about sexuality. i told her i had dreamt about her the night before, & she told me sweet things like how she had been really disappointed when she thought i might be straight & how the last time she had made out with m. she had been picturing me the whole time.
then we sat on her front porch for what seemed like hours, but was really only 20 minutes. we kept inching closer & closer to each other, meanwhile avoiding each other’s eyes. and we were giggling like schoolgirls, until we were so dizzy & giddy we felt like we had been drinking or sucking helium out of birthday balloons.
“does this ever get any less weird?“ she asked me. “like, even when we’re 30 or something?” “probably not,” i said. “i think, even then, this kind of stuff will still make us feel like we’re 12.”
finally we kissed each other, and it was so hard to stop. it was the most amazing, sweetest thing ever.
-from a journal entry, 7/3/00
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Me, in Lissa’s room (July 2000)
Those pants ruled—I found them at a thrift store, and they were skintight and black, with silver zippers. Also check out my DIY I’m A Loner, Dottie…A Rebel tee that Ali had helped me make the summer before (I made it cuz I loved Pee Wee Herman, and because of the Get Up Kids song). And of course, my one million bracelets.
L.'s Bedroom // summer 2000
