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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐧𝐨𝐰…

Now friends, as you have UNDOUBTEDLY noticed, I have been on a fucking journey with this show.  But no character has put me through as much hardship and heartache as the one and only fantastic bastard himself, Bobo Del Rey.

Look at this man:

THAT IS THE FACE OF AN ASSHOLE.  I’m just saying I started this journey very, very simply.  While I have had heard that some people love this little drama bean as soon as soon as they slap eyes on that beautiful roadkill coat, I was not among them.

In fact, when I was first forced to endure the Drama Fire Circle:

I basically almost died.  Do you see this?  This is the most well-thought out but Over the Top display of… I don’t even know how to explain it?  Who is he showing off for?  Does this happen a lot?  (The drama fire circle happens twice in the first season alone so I feel like it’s a A Thing and he has specially selected revenant friends to hold those torches for him.  Maybe there’s auditions?  Maybe not but I feel like there is.)  I want to say it’s a display of masculinity.  He just rips off his coat like GRANDMA IT’S ME ANASTASIA and everyone just gasps quietly to themselves like: my god he’s been to the gym.

But, maybe he’s got an exhibitionist kink?

Maybe he’s just peacocking for Doc.  (LOOK AT THIS FIGURE, DOC HOLLIDAY, LOOK AT IT.  I AM A POWERFUL MAN.)

Point is, at this point I am Not In Love because Bobo is ever so slightly ridiculous.  I don’t dislike him.  I’m just over here eating my popcorn being like: ok, ok, what’s he going to do next?  

But the problem with keeping Bobo in any one singular category is that he doesn’t fit there.  

Is he a little bit ridiculous?  Yes he is.  But why is he a little bit ridiculous?  Because he’s maintaining control over a bunch of demon-adjacent outlaws masquerading as people in a small town mostly comprised of reminders that Wyatt Earp did a thing there once.  Can you imagine how awful it would be to be trapped in a tourist sinkhole filled up with the reminders of the dude that shot you?  I would also lose my mind.

Bobo’s over the topness serves a purpose and even if it didn’t?  Dude’s been to hell and now he’s a feral cat herder so, do your ringleader shit, bud.  We’re here for you.

WHAT GOT ME THOUGH, was when Constance “Bad Touch Witch” Clootie kissed him in that shed (barn? building made of wood) and he just rolled his eyes.  In fact, Bobo seems very ambivalent in general toward women and sex.  Dick-eating vampires also aren’t his type?  He shows up to be like: Oh hi Willa remember me? But then he’s also kind of fed up with her a little too.  (I mean I was fed up with Willa on sight.)

Bobo wants out.  Out of the town.  Out of the curse.  Out of the circumstances and he’s been sitting around for 130(ish) years taking whatever blame, sludging through whatever bullshit waiting for his chance.  Which even if you knew nothing at all about him, makes COMPLETE SENSE.

But then there was season 2.

Then there was Plaid Baby Robert Svane and the Single Greatest Act of Unfairness ever presented to me in fiction.

Look at that man in plaid.  He’s practically a newborn kitten.

What you find out about Robert Svane, the man destined to become Drama Peacock Bobo Del Rey is:

He was nobody’s first choice.  It’s never outright said in canon but the fact that we see Wyatt “Tiny Limp Dick” Earp all but begging his actually dying friend to go with him to Purgatory suggests that a dying Doc Holliday > a perfectly healthy Robert Svane.

He genuinely was there to do the right thing.  Out of all of the people involved in this Demon Killing Excursion, Robert appears to be the only one that has absolutely no outside motivation at all.  He’s not some kind of random angel that didn’t want to get in trouble with his boss.  He’s not a demon wife who wants vengeance for the death of her babies.  He’s not whatever we’d qualify Savior Complex Wyatt Earp as.  He’s just a dude, that knows a bad thing is happening, and is there helping out because you do.

HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF.  I cannot stress enough how traumatized I am by the fact that Robert Svane, who is only there to do the right thing, for real told a man to shoot THROUGH him to kill a demon?  He was right there, ready to die, because it was the RIGHT THING TO DO.  

He was betrayed and abandoned.  Look.  Look.  I’m emotional about this.  Robert got shot through the chest, but he was still right there in the mix of shit, doing his part to seal up a demon that was dead but not really, really dead?  And his pal Wyatt who was supposed to be there to finish this off himself, must have left town the very moment he shot Robert and Clootie because he’s had enough time to write a ‘sorry you’re fucked I’m looking for my real friend lol’ letter to let Robert know he could just hurry up and die because NOBODY CARED ABOUT HIM.  But it isn’t even just about Wyatt?  Constance was there just grinding salt into that fresh wound, reminding Robert that he was going to hell and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.  And why was he going to hell?  Because he was a bad guy?  Because he’d made the wrong choice?  No, because he trusted an angel, a demon wife and Tiny Limp Dick Wyatt to hold up their side of this bargain.  And not one of those three did a damn thing to help him.  NOT ONE.

Robert Svane did not deserve to go to hell.  He didn’t deserve to be brought back when Wyatt died.  He didn’t deserve to be hunted by the Earp heirs.

But he’s out here, CONSTANTLY being bad-mouthed and threatened and belittled by the “Good guys” who have no idea that this Over the Top Drama Peacock is the PRIMARY reason they’re all alive to start with?  That if they’d just slow the fuck down and ask, Bobo knows everything?

There’s not one single plotline in all of Wynonna Earp (the show) that Bobo doesn’t know the answer to.  What is the curse?  Bobo knows.  Why did it happen?  Bobo knows.  Who is the demon?  Bobo knows.  What are the seals?  Bobo knows.  Who are the wives?  Bobo knows.  How do you trap them?  Bobo knows.  How do you kill Bulshar?  Bobo might know but he definitely knows who knows.  Who is Waverly’s dad?  Bobo knows.  What is Peacemaker?  Bobo knows.  Why was Doc put in the well?  Bobo knows.

The point is, I love this stupid, stupid man and I just want him to be able to rest.  I want him to see the ocean.  I want him to do anything he wants to do.  And I will never, ever, ever be over the injustice that was done to him.  How dare you torture this man for three seasons and then give us that finale?

HOW DARE.

“Do you wanna get a little more specific on our plan here, warrior princess?”