young, dumb, and totally drunk.

'you wouldn't pirate a-' i would steal anything from any company. anything in the world. i dont even want it i just hate you

If you are a vampire NEVER feed from someone named Richard. 400 fucking years and everyone still calls me Dick Sucker

Had a dream last night that i was a knight and this bigger scarier knight had me on the ground and right before he swung his sword at my neck he said smth like "i mourn the loss of life for the tree who will become your coffin" which shouldnt of turned me on like it did but alas

knight who is so unbelievably incapable of talking about his emotions. knight who's so traumatized he can only show affection through minor acts of violence.

sigh...whatever *swigns my awsuome giant sword around*

Put your fucking knight on a leash it keeps trying to duel mine

dont look at my fucking boner when we fight

Breakup sex with my vampire girlfriend call that the last nail in the coffin

People who roll their eyes at this stuff and wonder how anyone could possibly be hindered by something "just in their mind" have no idea what helpless slaves they already are to their brain. Their brain just happens to make the right juices in the right amounts that it motivates them to action more often, and as a result, they believe they're in more control of themselves.

WHAT THE FUCK IS NONCHALANT 😭😭😭 i was built to take a sword through my chest for you

shawty said she has a mask kink.. I said babe I’m autistic I’m always masking