Your Daily Hemingway

Drink any time the racism and misogyny are just too much to handle. (Experts only.)

Drink any time there’s Anime Boob Physics, only in prose.

Any time there’s an entire page without a paragraph break, finish your drink. (One continuous page max! Don’t be stupid!)

Will’s curly hair

is wrong

Drink every time masculinity so fragile

Drink every time a character submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known.

Drink every time the narrator reminds you that Mrs. Ramsay is (still) doing a domestic task.

Any time Cather characterizes stolen Indigenous land as a barren blank slate that white European settlers were destined to nurture into commercially viable property, finish your drink.

Drink every time Alexandra is gay for The Land.

Take a shot every time a heterosexual character meets a tragic end.

Any time Rawlins tells John Grady not to do the thing and John Grady does it anyway, finish your drink.

Drink any time you have to re-read a section of dialogue to figure out who the fuck said what.

Whenever John Grady gets on a horse and becomes One With the Landscape, finish your drink.

Drink every time M. Homais mansplains something.