Just another internet addict.

I honestly think the original ah lads not again post is the funniest

i think anytime you decide to send someone a totally blinkered or callous message online there should be this new thing instead of a captcha called "would u say this to a stranger at a bus stop?" with a 2 min waiting time AT LEAST. if the answer is no, but you decide to send anyway then a comically large boxing glove shoots out of ur screen and socks u square on the nose.

The Onion is still relevant and wise.

i dont believe in sex. You guys are making that shit up

i am aware of the problems. however. i would rather be comfy in my bed. good night.

not enough hugging in media. there should be much more hugging and hand holding if you ask me

the problem with horror now is there is no men in little tank tops and booty shorts

@neolithicsheep

all of your feelings are valid as in “worth acknowledgment and internal consideration” but some of your feelings are also stupid and mean, and you need to deal with that shit without making it anyone else’s problem

like we are all beings of light, namaste, but also every single one of us has an ugly, dumb, selfish, lazy goblin living inside of us which can never be silenced or destroyed. and being a decent person means keeping that little fuck in his special little playpen hidden away in your heart, with his colorful enrichment rattles and his favorite pieces of raw meat, where he can pipe up with his wretched little opinions and you can nod sagaciously at him and pat him on the head and tell him you understand why he feels that way and never, ever let anybody else get their feelings hurt by him, because he sucks shit and nothing he has to say is worthy of notice by anyone but you. you should pay attention to him, but only because it’s important to understand your own worst impulses, and because trying to ignore him will make him break down a wall and run out into the street where he can show passerbys his privates and eat cigarette butts right off the ground. your goblin is valid: that doesn’t mean he’s fit for company.

i allow myself one suicide joke a month because a well-placed “i’m going to kill myself” can be REALLY funny but like for real yall, if you’re suicidal or depressed in any capacity, or even if you aren’t, if you make suicide jokes constantly your brain will internalize it and you will actually want to kill yourself. which you don’t want to do. and if you stop making suicide jokes then you will feel better. same with any kind of self deprecation— stop doing it and you will start to feel better. i’ve been suicidal at several points in my life and i can guarantee you from personal experience that it fucking works. stop making kms jokes every day and your life will improve. and other people get uncomfortable when you make kms jokes constantly. be nicer to yourself

“it’s how i cope” it shouldn’t be. it is the opposite of a coping mechanism. i’m not a psychiatrist or anything but i can guarantee you that joking about killing yourself is not a coping mechanism anyone should be using

[ID: black Text "Oops! we dont use that word on barbie.com" with a pink button underneath that says "Close" End ID]

People have repeatedly asked me why I’m so scared of driving and quite frankly I think I hold a normal amount of fear towards driving. I think most people could stand to be a little more scared of driving tbh