Mike Driver

shark vs the universe
will byers stan first human second

oozey mess
Jules of Nature

pixel skylines
todays bird

gracie abrams

★
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Love Begins
taylor price
YOU ARE THE REASON
noise dept.

Kiana Khansmith

JVL
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

𓃗
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@therealopaartist

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My wisdom teeth are growing in I think I’m dying
As someone who got them out in HS
I got completely zonked on the nitrous oxide they gave me + with the Novocaine, I didn’t feel SHIT. They could’ve been taking ALL of my teeth and I probably wouldn’t have noticed.
Modern medicine y’all
The real issue comes from recovery because as soon as you can’t eat anything, you want all the foods you can’t have 😭
Turns out our Pepper decided to LITERALLY grow some balls lmao
Lmao
Will be doing commissions to pay for neutering. 🙏
WHEN I SAID GROW SOME BALLS AND STOP LETTING PIPER BULLY YOU THIS ISN’T WHAT I MEANT
i have no idea why i made this
Nightmare boyfriends 😔
Based off a comment I got on this art ⤵️

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Idea I randomly had that will not leave me alone:
Robert gets knocked up before his coma, but he didn't know. He maybe suspected something was wrong, but was too busy/too broke to really investigate, so he ignored it. He still doesn't know about it when he wakes up, but only because he left the hospital before they had the chance to tell him.
Robert just, never figures it out. He assumes the weight gain (Visi's dad bod comments are very true) and nausea is a coma thing, blames his mood swings on brain damage, and everything happens like in canon.
Then a few weeks into dispatching, Robert wakes up just feeling like something's wrong, but he can't figure out what. All he knows is that he's feeling random cramps and a lot of weird pressure. It gets so bad by the time he gets home that he decides to just sleep off what he assumes is the worst stomach ache of his life, then boom! Surprise baby.
Robert just assuming every symptom is a side-effect of his recent coma + mid-air explosion is very on-brand for him.
There is actually a number of conditions that can make detecting a pregnancy difficult. Ex: PCOS/PMOS, hormonal imbalances, If a person is born with an inverted uterus, if the placenta presents anterior (towards the front), incompetent doctors, etc...
Years of medical issues, scattered HRT, injuries, and exposure to dangerous materials; left Robert (and doctors) just assuming he couldn't become pregnant without fertility assistance.
+Robert, AFAB or a cursed/magically-affected AMAB person, also likely had a little mental block of denial.
So when Robert wakes up with bloating, nausea, brain fog, and difficulty timing bathroom breaks - he blames the coma.
Robert expects the "dad bod" comments. Since his crash his muscles have atrophied, replaced with soft fat derived from his love of cream-filled sweets.
Hilarity ensues if the birth occurs during a very tense portion of the story.
Like say... Post-Episode 5.
Robert is in a bad place mentally and physically.
Sharing his secret identity with the Z-Team brought them closer together - all except the one he had the most history with. He's pretty sure Flambae would have scorched him if Golem and Waterboy didn't intervene. What's more is that the hothead's best friend, Prism aka Alice, hasn't been able to get in contact with him since that fateful night.
Then came the failed Proto Pulse test.
He doesn't blame Royd for what happened. If anything, Robert should have used a dummy instead of himself.
It would have saved him fourteen hours.
The medical staff wanted to keep Robert under observation, but all he wanted to do was get back to work.
The bottle of scotch acts as decent pain relief when the contractions start.
Robert strips down into his birthday suit, hoping that a lukewarm bath will soothe the aches and pains.
The pain keeps coming, increasing with intensity in waves.
Robert thinks he probably should have stayed in medical after all.
The final straw is when he feels a gushing sensation and a trickle of blood starts to paint the water.
Grasping blindly, he grabs his phone from his discarded pants and calls Chase.
Robert, seething through a wave of pain: "Ch- Chase?" Chase, instantly worried: "Robert? You okay, kid?" Robert, taking breaks to breathe: "I'm not... feeling so good. Think I should have... fuck!" Chase, serious: "Robert, where are you right now?" Robert: "My place. Bathroom." Chase: "Hang tight, I can get a ride asap. Stay on the line with me." Robert: "No, Chase... I need to talk to him first."' Chase: "Talk to who first? Robert who-" Robert: (*hangs up, scrolling through the Z-Team's work contacts*)
The phone rings for a solid minute before the recipient decides to answer.
Flambae: "What the fuck Robert?! You can't be trying to apologise before I come over, I didn't plan for that!" Robert: "Why would you...? Never mind. I just really want to say that I'm... sorry for taking your fingers. Sorry for putting you in jail and shit. But I'm not sorry for stopping you from destroying yourself." Flambae, analysing his voice: "...How drunk are you?" Robert: "About most of a bottle of Bourbon Whiskey." Flambae: "A-allah... takes you over five years and a high blood alcohol content for you to say anything about it." Robert: "Also I think I might be dying right now..." Flambae: "WHAT!?" Robert, getting light-headed: "I took a bath and now there's blood... I called Chase... he's picking me up." Flambae: "Call an ambulance, you idiot!" Robert: "Can't afford an ambulance." Flambae: "Then you can't afford a funeral either, bitch! Where's your apartment - I'm getting there first!"
Robert mumbles his address and unit number as another wave of pain causes him to cry out loud enough to echo off the cheap tiled walls.
Flambae is ultimately the first to arrive - melting the lock off the balcony door so he can burst in to his foe's aid.
Upon assessing Robert's condition, the ex-villain's face turns from furious worry to utter confusion.
Flambae: "Heyyy, Bob-Bob? Any chance you could be pregnant?" Robert: "Not to my knowledge, why?" Flambae: "Because you're dilated as shit, bro. I think all the bloody stuff is like, amniotic fluid." Robert, half-delirious from pain and drunkenness: "Wha...?"
By the time a very worried Chase (nearlt breaks his "no more running" rule) + Z-Team burst into the apartment; Flambae is standing in Robert's bathroom holding a newborn baby with a first aid kid scattered across the floor. Robert himself naked and mildly drunk in the bathtub.
Sheer confusion all around.
Robert: "Oh hey. When did you get here?" Flambae: "They literally showed up just now." Robert: "Nah, I meant her." (*boops baby's nose*) Fourth Gen Robertson: (*also looking very confused*)
It becomes a very eventful housewarming-turned-hospital trip.
Flambae not-so-subtly suggests he should get naming rights to the baby so "It can all be a bridge underwater." Robert agrees, despite the mangled metaphor.
"Zarmina Robertson" is a healthy 36 weeks, a little skinny, and overall seems equally puzzled on how she got here in one piece.
She just a little baby. A confuse little baby that is going to be love by everyone
Oh god Visi wanting to go get the astral pulse is even more because Robert had to be pregnant when she blew him up which made her guilt even worse
This is so flambert coded I absolutely love this so much
Zarmina is very confused, and very beloved!
It takes Robert all of a quick nap to become an overly-attentive parent towards his surprise daughter. He starts reading and watching a bunch of parenting content to try and "catch up" for the time he didn't know he was pregnant.
Chase and Chad are the only ones able to convince Robert to hand over the baby for a few hours and take some rest.
Visi spirals.
Robert *had* to have been pregnant when she planted the bomb. Almost dying in that suit and in a hospital bed with a hitchhiker.
She almost killed him and his baby girl.
It doesn't take much for Visi to narrow down where the Pulse would most likely be. Her and Royd compared the energy readings of the Proto Pulse test to similar explosions across the city.
A warehouse by the docks, owned by the Yachties.
Despite telling no one, Robert catches her off-route signal.
He's still in hospital. Laptop on the overbed desk, and Zarmina in her adoptive grand-Chase's arms.
Even on strong postpartum painkillers, Robert is sharp enough to get Visi into the captain's quarters and find the Pulse.
Shroud is there. No doubt he'd made the connection just as they had. The villain mocks Invisigal as he fills the room with poisonous gas.
Robert yells for her to "Get Up!".
The weight of his daughter in his arms snaps Robert from his mantra.
"Keep Up."
Robert can barely shout after him, before Chase runs to Visi's aid.
In the same night that he learns his daughter even existed, Robert may have just lost his older brother.
Robert can only think to call Blazer, sobbing. Zarmina cries along with her father, sensing his distress.
OK GIVE ROBERT SOME HUGS
also protect visi because me thinks that the Zteam are going to go after her after upsetting Robert
Especially the flame user
Know what be funny? If sonar points out that Zarmina has Flambae’s glare
Robert is most certainly in need of hugs in the aftermath of Episode 6.
He'd spend hours at Chase's bedside with Zarmina in his arms. Telling his daughter stories of a man she may not be able to remember.
Visi is suspended as part of the investigation into the warehouse raid. Barring her own actions, a lot of people got hurt or worse by the villain in-fighting.
The Z-Team think Invisigal has been given too many second chances.
Despite his own anger, Flambae still defends Visi's choice. She rightfully suspected that Shroud would have intercepted the Astral Pulse. Even if her actions were reckless, Flambae feels that himself has been forgiven for worse.
Robert can only tell the team to "Wait and see." - Once her suspension is up, they can decide for good if she is owed another shot.
Robert is too numb to be angry at Visi's confession.
That she worked for Shroud to pay off a debt. That she was the one that planted the bomb that shot him out of the sky. That she'd become disgusted with herself and joined the Phoenix Program as a form of penance. And that her self-hate returned tenfold when she learned that Robert's unborn daughter was nearly a casuality.
Robert can only mumble; "At least you were trying to make up for it."
Visi senses that the hero's heart is too heavy to give her concrete judgement. So she leaves.
-
Shroud doesn't get the drop on Robert in a bar.
Rather he looms over his baby's crib.
Shroud presents Robert with an ultimatum; hand over the Pulse, or Robbie's gun takes out another Robertson.
Robert swears through angry tears that he never got the pulse. Shroud asks if he'd bet on it.
The room's temperature rises to a sweltering heat.
Flambae is on the balcony - staring at Shroud with a silent, fatal promise.
The mastermind leaves without a fuss.
-
Robert doesn't dare let Zarmina leave his side - or rather chest, as she's secured in her sling.
Royd assists him dispatching scattered heroes across a city in chaos. Blazer even leaves to assist in the field - leaving Galen the defacto commander until her return.
Robert feels a sinking dread in his gut as he looks at the Z-Team's status. He's missing some heroes.
Prism, Punch Up and Golem were able to respond almost immediately. The popstar was even in the process of putting on her costume when Robert logged in.
Visi came back despite the Team's feelings towards her, citing that they'll need all the help they can handle.
Malevola was a little late to the party, as the havoc in the street just seemed like another day in Hell.
Coupe managed to track down Sonar - the Red Ring had caged him like a wild animal, and tried to drown him in the sea. The manbat was back and fighting the second he was freed.
Phenomaman evidently hadn't considered the seriousness of the kidnapping situation until Waterboy broke them both free from their restraints. He stops the speeding train as easily as if it were a toy.
That left Flambae...
Shroud had learned to fear the firestarter from their encounter at Robert's apartment. So he had him strapped to the core of the refinery. If the heat rises even just a little too much, the core would explode and take countless lives with it.
Robert overhears a Red Ring lieutenant mocking him over the comms: "Maybe the brat is fireproof too."
Robert tells Visi to personally kick that guy's ass for him. She complies as Golem and Waterboy free Flambae from his chains.
Once back at SDN, the firehero ignores his medical check up to make sure Robert and the baby are okay. Robert laughs with sheer relief, as Chad's warm arms wrap around him. Zarmina whines and glares up at him for the gall to wake her up. Onlookers will later joke that the baby's annoyed glare matches the fire hero as if it were genetic.
The Red Ring are relentless, but they're running scared.
The tide seems to have shifted in the heroes' favor.
Then the power goes out.
-
Robert had left Zarmina in cot by Chase's side - Beef standing guard as if he was a big bad Rottweiler. The basement medical ward was built like a bomb shelter - one of the safest rooms in the building sans the panic room. Robert thought it would be the safest place for his little family.
Shroud thought so too.
Chase had awoken to only see an empty cot and a panicking Beef at his side. He accepted Blazer's amulet without hesistation.
On the ruined rooftop, Shroud holds Zarmina in one arm as if he'd done it a thousand times. The exchange is simple: the Pulse for Her.
(Some of the Red Ring mumble with uncertainty at the sight, lowering their guard.)
Robert accepts the trade without question... adding in the unlabled Proto Pulse as a bonus.
Shroud's need to be right is his downfall.
Visi and Flambae's protectiveness is Robert's salvation.
The moment the Red Ring began to fall to the Proto Pulse's imperfect design - the firehero flew to lift Robert and Zarmina into his arms.
A gunshot rings out. A bullet tears through an invisible shoulder and lodges itself into the meat of Flambae's bicep, posed to shield Robert and the baby, before melting away into nothing.
The Z-Team chant that Invisigal is "Not a Bitch!" as she's wheeled out by paramedics, Blazer Mandy holding her hand all the while.
The same paramedics fuss over Flambae's untreated injuries - the proud hero protesting whole time.
Flambae: "The bullet melted! See? Totally okay!"
Robert makes sure to see him off.
But not before being half-jokingly asked for a kiss to make it better. Robert quickly pulls Chad into a feverish, relieved embrace.
The Z-Team whistle and holler as Robert and Chad hold their middle fingers up to them.
Zarmina makes an annoyed grunt. Her eyes have already begun turning from baby blue to a bright amber-gold. Her eyes will soon match her second father perfectly.
Chase bawks at the sight of his little brother kissing the ex-villain.
Chase, holding Beef: "Seriously, Robert!? The flaming asshole!?"
Robert: "I like men who are good with kids, and would take a bullet for me."
The Z-Team immediately demand to know if the two had hooked up before. Both give a non-answer.
Zarmina sneezes a plume of blue fire in response.
Zarmina was a quiet baby. That worried Robert more than he knew it should. Most parents would kill to have a child who didn't cry at all hours at night. But for Robert, it only made him worry more. Born at just over eight months old, the surprise baby was relatively healthy all things considered. Robert stared at the little girl peacefully sleeping in her hastily put together crib. Her pale, chubby cheeks were accented by the surprisingly thick head of black hair she'd been born with. No signs of fetal alcohol syndrome or obvious physical handicaps. Mental handicaps wouldn't be as easy to detect until Zarmina got older. Not that he would love her any less, but still, Robert worried. He didn't want his child to suffer because of his mistakes.
If Robert had known he was pregnant, he wouldn't have drank as much as he did. Or smoked. Or gone to fight Shroud….well, he might have still done that last one regardless of his pregnancy status. He wanted, needed, to eliminate the threat his father's killer posed at any cost. Make the world a safer place for people like his daughter.
“You know, out of all the mistakes I've made, I think you're my favorite,” Robert let out a tired sigh as he ran an index finger along his daughter's face. A beeping from the living room caught Robert's attention. Right, milk.
The man popped the microwave open, grabbing the warm bottle out of the machine. Robert shook the bottle in an attempt to cool it down as he reached into the sink to pull out a freshly clean ripple. With one ripple missing after the explosion and the other refusing to cooperate, formula was the only option. More expensive but hey, Zarmina couldn't tell the difference. Robert tested the milk, dotting it along his skin like the YouTube video demonstrated. Warm, not hot. Slipping the rubber nipple over the bottle, Robert made his back to his daughter's room as he hummed to himself.
“Zarmina, who's….” Robert's voice trailed off as he froze in the doorway of the room. The window was open. And there, in front of his daughter's crib, was the man who murdered his father. Holding Zarmina, still bundled up in her pink fleece blanket. She barely stirred as Eli turned towards Robert.
“Get your hands off my fucking daughter-” Robert snarled, only stopping when Eli raised a finger at him.
“Ah, ah, careful Robert, you don't want to upset her, do you?” Eli-no, Shroud, asked as Robert clenched the bottle in his hand tighter. “I just wanted to talk. I won't hurt your daughter. This is just so you don't do anything rash.” He explained, and Robert's teeth clenched. “We can be civil about this, right, Robert?”
Oooo this is such a good bit of writing explanding on Shroud's intrusion/intimidation using Robert's baby.
Robert getting distracted for just a second to get the bottle, only for Shroud to strike, would be SO unsettling!
Flambae's appearance was a happy accident. He'd been on his way over with extra baby supplies when he sensed something off about the apartment.
Thankfully, Eli is smart enough not to test a living flamethrower.
I love these lil drabbles you make for my self-indulgent ideas. ^w^
Fanart for @jamqyu ‘s awesome reverse au!
What the order would look like in Good Coffee, Great Coffee
(Most ingredients aren’t in the game, but this was fun to draw lol)
Will draw yuri for cash money 🙏

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good morning everyone I’m back at my bs
sonar are you stupid
chase is about to violate his oath to do no harm as a hero
my favorite stills under cut✨
This was just for fun lol
Transfem Herm being insecure about her height but Robert loves his giant girlfriend and won’t let anyone forget it
you know this one bunny couple with a small bunny husband and a big bunny wife? this is them.
before herm even transitioned, robert always thought her height was a cute thing. she's so awkward and nervous all the time, trying to shrink into herself to make herself smaller. he also always thought that her legs were beautiful. so long and skinny, he wondered how they would look like in heels.
and now that she's transitioning, he absolutely LOVES when she's wearing heels. she's even more taller than him and it's so hot and adorable to him. she's the prettiest person he's ever seen and he will tell her that FOREVER until she realizes it.
This is the cat that loves it when you get in her face and nuzzle her (she purrs super loudly) and if you stop she headbutts you. Her name is Pepper
And this is the cat who will scream at you every time you open the pantry because she thinks that means she’s getting a treat, and will attempt to trip you up if you don’t comply. Her name is Piper.
They also play together very loudly and think running around the apartment at two AM is perfectly reasonable.
As I was saying, while the Killer Bass act like a wolf pack (couples as leaders and a surrogate-sibiling dynamic), the Screaming Gophers have a dynamic more akin to a clan of spotted hyenas:
the girls vie for dominance through alliances and coalitions, while the boys just chill and carry out the orders of the ladies in charge.
*End of the documentary section*

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One au I love is amputee robert because angst✨️
But also chase not knowing and robert not mentioning it just one day goes
Robert: "Damn legs bugging me again"
Chase: "Ha welcome to the clu-"
*Pops the prosthetic off
Chase:
Blazer (carrying boxes): can you give me a hand please?
Robert: sure. (Pops off prosthetic arm)
Blazer: (incomprehensible screaming)
ok, just a little bit, as a treat