And The Quote of the Day Is...

Although I was an on-screen mother for nine seasons on “Everybody Loves Raymond”, few people know that I am actually a mother in real life. Ever year I adopt. As of today, I have over roughly 130 million children.

Why did I drop out of the race exactly? The same reason I stopped sending letters to the police in the 1970s... You stay in one place too long, they start to smell your fear.

How much money will it take for you to leave me alone right now?

For the first half of Deadpool, I didn't even know I was in a movie. The camera crew literally just followed me around while I ran errands. Did I ever question why? Fuck no. I'm Ryan fucking Reynolds. Why should I care?

I like to think that the story of Apple is a lot like the movie “Titanic”, where Steve Jobs was Leonardo DiCaprio, Tim Cook is Kate Winslet, and the iPhone is the wooden board they’re floating on.

A lot of people ask me why I chose to run for president. My response to them is, when you have this much money, why wouldn't you?

My original plan was to win the presidency, then have an elaborate sex scandal of my own, just to get back at Bill, you know? But after seeing how badly whole email scandal turned out, I'm starting to reconsider. Who needs that kind of negative publicity?

Let it be known that I am a politician. Not the actor who played the Hulk in the Avengers franchise. That was Mark Ruffalo. I am Marco Rubio. Very different. Just remember, Rubio = Ruby = Hidden Gem. Got it? Good.

I just hope MY wall doesn’t suffer the same fate as the Berlin Wall...

Whether I win or lose in the democratic primaries, I still technically win because, at the end of the day, I don’t have to constantly live in the shadow of my spouse.

I think my character differentiated himself from The First Order not only by his moral standards but by his skill level as well… I mean, for starters, I was the only stormtrooper who could hit any of his targets.

Shooting begins at 4 A.M. everyday and ends at 10 P.M. Just because some of us haven’t been bitten yet, doesn’t mean we’re not all zombies.

I used to think I was weird for acting the way I do. Then I met Miley Cyrus. Holy fuck have you seen that girl?!? I’m pretty sure she fucked a bear on stage or some shit like that.

Once, at a Tokyo airport, I heard someone yell “PIKACHUUUU!” at the top of their lungs. However, as I turned to make a racist joke to my friend, I noticed that it had just been a Japanese man sneezing.

Lol when/where did John Mayer say that quote about engagement you posted?

Aren’t pineapples just the porcupines of fruit?

Aren't limes just lemons that haven't ripened yet?