Happy, together, forever.
Summary: Reader thinks that Bakugou is going to propose, and is afraid of losing him because their life directed them into not wanting and deciding to never have kids. But they decide to talk about it with him, to not end up hurting him more. Also in ao3
Warnings: slight angst, fluff, comfort, hinted sickness/infertility for the reader, just comfort for childfree people because we deserve love and validation too.
Word count: 1k+ (I'm passionate about this)
When you met Bakugou, you never thought that your relationship would reach the point where the two of you would want to spend the rest of your lives together. Throughout your life you were surrounded by the archaic idea of the cycle of life, being born, growing, reproducing and dying, despite having fantasized a thousand times about the perfect romance, you never believed that you would get to live it, romance never happened in your life, you were a little scared of it, and when you reached the age in which your acquaintances started to ask about you having childrens, you couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, although you always knew it, you were afraid to accept it, since that would be the definitive barrier between you and a long term love, that idea of getting married just to have children was unpleasant for you, can't you want to be with the love of your life without having to get tied together with children? You thought about it from a young age but now it was final, you don't want children, and you wouldn't change your opinion for anything in the world, you were decided to have a happy life even if you couldn't experience that romantic ideal, but he showed up.
At first you only considered that it would be something temporary, a relationship that you could remember as a beautiful memory, so you shouldn't worry about any parental wishes he might have, even though every once in a while he blurts out the casual "that's why I don't want kids" the fear still existed. But days, months, years passed, and you were currently living togheter, working as pro heros on the same angency, and ready to celebrate your fifth anniversary. Worries about the future had been left far behind in your mind, he made you forget all that, he made you feel that your lives were complete, that nothing needed to change to have a happy life, the two of you were more than enough for each other, but the fear returned a thousand times stronger when you accidentally found the search "engagement rings" on the laptop of his office. At first you though that it may be of some coworker, or maybe Kirishimas , but Katsuki was the only one that used that account, you felt happy, weddings were so romantic, you definitely would be up for one, specially with the love of your life, the joy you felt made you jump like a fangirl teen, until your eyes made contact with a framed picture of him after saving a toddler, the little kid was clinging to his chest with a relieved expression while Katsuki held a fist up flashing his usual victory smile. Your heart skipped a beat as all the fears you had forgotten hit you again with destructive force. The voices of family members, friends, coworkers, paparazzis, interviewers...
"When are you planning on getting pregnant?"
After thinking a lot, and even coming up with the idea of pretending and "changing" your opinion just for him, to make him happy, you decided that it was best to talk about it, if things had to end it's better to do it once and for all, you couldn't live avoiding that subject and lying to him, as you did with relatives who pressed the issue of "new blessings in the family". The thought of ending you relationship shattered your heart, but you couldn't live forever under the pressure of a husband demanding a child, you have heard of stories where people "trick" their partners into getting pregnant, and even knowing that Bakugou would never force you to do something you didn't want, you were still terrified , not only that, but he deserved someone who could made all of his dreams true, someone who could fulfill all of his desires, and you couldn't do that.
You hoped that he wouldn't care, that he didn't want children, that he only wanted you and your well-being, but deku had invited him to his son's baby shower, so that possibility became smaller and smaller to you. It was now or never, you needed to bring that issue to the table and end that problem once and for all.
You were on the train on your way home, after patrolling all day together, both quieter than usual, specially you, and he noticed it, but he preferred not to mention it until arriving to your shared apartment, since he didn't want to bother you, even so he couldn't hide his worried look, you noticed it and that made your nerves go even more crazy.
The train arrived at its stop, Katsuki took your hand to guide you home, a habit that he never lost since the days studying together, when you felt his warm palm your heart began to beat even faster, you didn't want to lose him, you really wanted to be with him forever, but just imagining his disappointed face while trying over and over again to convince you to try and give him a child, his mother's disapproving look, the whispers of people judging you, all that just made you want to vomit.
You replayed the words you thought to say to start that conversation, over and over again, changing anything that may sound bad or self pitying, anxiety coursing trough you veins, suddenly you felt a light squeeze of his hand, you turned to see his face, and he flashed a warm reassuring smile to you, god, you really loved that man. That made you start second guessing yourself, why were you so worried? Despite the fact that at first it was hard for you to accept it, you were sure that he loved you, way too much, he had told you several times, that he was willing to do anything to see you happy, that he loved you and would be with you no matter what, that he wanted you to be by his side when he became the number one hero, he showed that not only with words, he always was supportive with your life choices, he was always so caring when your health was not the best, he took care of you like nobody did before.
You were lost in your thoughts when you heard his keys opening the door of the simple yet stunning apartment you both shared, your styles combined perfectly adorning the place that witnessed all those moments that you shared, the sad ones, the happy ones, the ones that you will treasure until you closed your eyes a final time, the ones that you were afraid of needing to forget.
Still quietly, you both got changed and started heating up the dinner, you were still so nervous, and he couldn't wait more to know why "— are you okay?" he asked in the softest voice he could make, you forgot the little speech you prepared, untill you felt his warm hands caress your arms, softly you responded "— I think is time to talk about something, something very important" nervously you looked up to meet his gaze, still concerned he gestured for you to continue "— I always joked about it, and you know about my health issues, time keeps going and we continue to become more and more serious about a future together, everyone is starting to raise their families, and people keep asking about ours, and... I really want to spend my life with you Katsuki, but, we can't have a family, at least not in the traditional way, I don't want to have kids, I can't, and if having mini Bakugous is something you want in your life, you should consider looking for someone that can give you that, i can't, i can't make you happy like that..."
Your eyes got watery, you adverted your gaze, afraid of his reaction, but a breathy laugh of him made you look up again, he had a disbelieved expression, "so that was it..." he gave you a sympathetic smile, he hugged you softly, and pressed a kiss on you forehead "you don't have to worry about that, just having you with me is more than enough"
"But..." You were a little bit shocked "no buts, we don't have to raise that kind of family to have a happy life, and frankly, i don't think that i would be a good dad" he laughed.
You smiled, yeah, not only him, you also would be a terrible parent, not only that but hero work was really dangerous, you could die any day, the possibility of bringing a human life only to end up as an orphan because their hero parents died was just selfish and sad, a tragedy.
You sighed, needing a final reassurance "you really don't care? What if you change your mind?" He looked at you seriously "— no, i wont, and don't question me about more 'what if's' you're sounding like my mom"
You laughed "—yeah, I'll stop, definitely not want to be like that" you both giggled, basking on each others warmth, you felt like a weight had been lifted of your shoulders, you were happy, happy that you found your perfect man, that you can make him happy, and that you could have that dreamy perfect life you only though that was possible on you fantasies.
"—besides, you are already a pain in the ass, and the pets are a lot of responsibility, i definitely don't need more stress getting on my way of becoming the number one" you pinched his side, making a pout jokingly, he kissed you cheek "—i also promised that i will never let anyone hurt you, you don't deserve that kind of pain"
"— But katsu, i think my tummy is going to hurt now"
"— huh? What are you talking about?"
"— something smells burned"
Notes: My first writing in years, i was just tired of not finding any childfree Katsuki fics, and in a blog that i love i saw that someone made an ask about this topic, so i decided to write this to have a small comfort for feeling like i don't deserve love in a world where people are crazy over Dadsuki and I'm just like yuck, kids being raised by a traumatized man with an extremely dangerous job that could kill him any day.
I don't think I will write very often, I'm not a good writer, i just needed to express my feelings in a way that i can't with a drawing (and that's why I posted this in my side account), and maybe this will be a great comfort for other people too ✨
Anyways, remember, he would love you no matter what 💕
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