that all along, the problem was me

BIOGRAPHY !

Theodoric Krause was born into a household already filled with turmoil. His parent’s relationship was rocky by the time he was born and while they always told him they didn’t have him to fix their relationship, Theo could only wonder if that was the actual truth. Most nights his parents argued with each other, their isolated house keeping neighbors unsuspecting of how much the couple had actually begun to hate each other. Nathan would leave to go on a drive, not returning until well after midnight. He always said it was to clear his mind, to calm himself down after a fight, but that wasn’t the case. He’d go to the bar, flirt with a couple of people, maybe throw some darts or play pool before coming home. Nathan rarely drank, never physically cheated, never got into any bar fights, but both of them were entirely miserable. Adalyn, on the other hand, felt trapped in her life. She had to take care of Theo, she had to put her career to the side for her child while her husband was able to go out every night. She wasn’t happy, then again, neither of them were. 

It was difficult for his parents to shield him from how discontent they were in their lives from Theo, although they tried at first. Their anger never boiled over to the point where it was directed at Theo, yet he was aware his parents didn’t care for each other from an early age because often he’d be the go-between for his parents. When they wouldn’t talk to each other, they’d make Theo carry messages back and forth. While Theo never minded because the alternative was having to hear his parents fight, it made him all too aware of the tension in his house. He grew up thinking that was normal until he went over to a friend’s house and their parents weren’t at each other’s throats constantly. Theo tried to spend most of his time with his friend to avoid being in his own house and the never ending fighting. It worked most of the time, his mom liked having some time to herself and Theo liked being part of what was a much more stable household. While he couldn’t spend every night there, from seven to nine, Theo practically spent every day hanging out with his friend. 

When Theo turned ten, his parents finally called it quits on their marriage, but that’s when the real problems began. Neither of his parents wanted the other to have custody of Theo. Nathan moved out to his own apartment, officially separating himself from Adalyn. The time that Theo used to spend with his best friend and neighbor was now spent with his dad eating crappy television dinners and listening to complaints about his mother. Meanwhile whenever his mother came to pick him up, she refused to speak to Nathan at all and spent car rides home lecturing Theo on why he shouldn’t listen to anything his father told him. Theo felt like his life was more fractured than ever and he watched for over a year, the court battle got messy. So many people asked his opinion and he never knew what to say. On his eleventh birthday, the court officially came up with a plan. Theo would spend summers with his father and the school year with his mother.

As much as Theo pleaded with his mother to keep them in Aurora Bay, she didn’t listen. She moved them clear across the country to Wilmington, NC and Theo lost the only friend he had and the only family he felt like truly cared about him. Life with his mother wasn’t too terrible. She moved him back to her hometown. Another cute little beachy touristy college town, so it almost felt like he was still in Aurora Bay. He started making friends there and his life felt like it went back to normal. Theo hated when his friends started making summer plans because he’d never be able to join them when he was stuck going home to live with his dad. He didn’t like being sent off on a plane with a suitcase that was basically bigger than him every single summer. 

Most summers were the exact same, spent cramped in his father’s apartment. He’d go to the beach with his best friend, play video games, or hang around downtown with the other teens. Conversations with his dad were always stiff and almost informal. The summer he met Mireya was different though. From years of dealing with his parent’s relationship problems, Theo never really cared for anything romantic, often either rolling his eyes at movies or keeping people at a distance. When friends back home brought up dating, Theo casually changed the subject. He wasn’t the type to settle down. Feelings weren’t something he did. But from the minute he spoke to her, he knew she was different. Of course, he was his charming self with her, but it wasn’t the same, it was more genuine. Theo wanted her to like him. While he knew it could never be anything more than a summer fling, he didn’t exactly stop himself from seeing her. If he never said it out loud, then it didn’t have to be true. At the end of the summer, they both left. Theo didn’t try to contact her because life got too busy. 

Theo made the decision to stop going to visit his father in Aurora Bay the summer after he met Mireya to focus his time on his education. He realized his life was in North Carolina and he would do his best to keep up with his dad across the country via phone and the occasional visit. He continued to live with his mom while he was working on his master’s degree. The college he picked had a joint bachelor’s and master’s program, so he’d be saving money. Theo wanted to become a therapist, to help people the way he never got help. He was nearly done with his master’s degree portion when his mom got sick and despite her telling him not to, he deferred his final semester to take care of her. There wasn’t much to do other than make her final years comfortable. They took trips together, had a lot of laughs, celebrated the good in life–and when she was gone, Theo couldn’t find the strength to go back to finish his degree. He packed his bags, the town didn’t feel like home without his mom. So after he got his mother’s affairs in order and sold the house, he moved back to Aurora Bay to be closer to his father. 

In the couple of months that he has been back in town, it hasn’t changed much, but his father had. Theo knew that his father met someone a couple of years back. He honestly hadn’t cared to know more, since he was dealing with his mother’s illness. He didn’t know how serious his father was about his new girlfriend until he showed up in town to find them engaged. Theo doesn’t know how to feel about it because he spent so long watching his parents be miserable together and he’s skeptical about the relationship, especially since she has a kid his own age that also doesn’t seem keen on the marriage either. His mom’s death feels so fresh and he still hasn’t grappled with any of his feelings, but he is determined to start fresh in Aurora Bay and not think about the past.

HEADCANONS !

To be determined

CONNECTION IDEAS !