The Mumbling Log

FAMILY PAPER DOLLS MONTH

Sometimes that last bit of hand sanitizer won’t come out of the bottle and goes to waste, so many will pour it into the next bottle. This can be okay with the same hand sanitizer brand, but mixing brands with different compositions can cause skin irritants such as SQEFTS to develop and worse. Take for example, what happens when you mix Purell with Germ-X:

Purell is mostly alcohol and glycerine, but also contains Isopropyl Myristate, Tocopheryl Acetate, and most importantly, Caprylyl Glycol. Caprylyl Glycol is mostly harmless on its own, but when mixed with Maltodextrin (an ingredient in Germ-X) something disturbing can happen and it takes some degree of historical explanation.

Maltodextrin was invented on the island of Malta in 1594 by Caterina Vitale as a means to enhance the dexterity of the Knights Templar, who rated high in charisma and strength, but low in dexterity. Maltodextrin gave them well over +3 in that regard and was added to most of their food.

The Knights Templar were, at the time, engaged in a war with the Caprylylian Order from the Vatican. The Caprylylian Order swore to destroy not only the knights, but anyone or anything who would help them fight. This included not only Vitale, but her invention itself- Maltodextrin. So the Caprylylian’s famed physicist Enrico Fermi (no relation) developed a compound that would combat the effects of Maltodextrin: Caprylyl Glycol.

Much like the ancient royalty that oversaw these events and developments, the actual science of their chemical interactions also has rules and procedures. Caprylyl Glycol is known as a “royal particle” due to its possession of a Benzene Ring, which can ionize the Alicyclic Rings of Maltodextrin. The Benzene Ring can in fact control the reactions of up to 20 Alicyclic Rings. Maltodextrin is composed of 19 Alicyclic Rings: 3 for the Enolates, 7 for the Alkalides, and 9, Nine Alicyclic Rings for the Actinides, which above all are highly reactive with halogens and chalcogens.

But still, a single Benzene Ring can attract them, and in certain conditions, bind them. Or so the reaction would have been, had it not been for another royal particle in Maltodextrin itself- Elendilium. Now, components of Elendilium have a weak bond on their own, but they can, given the energy from the reaction with Benzene, donate an electron to any accompanying Anion or Anarion. Most importantly they can do so for Isildurium, and that is exactly what happens. It is in this reaction that Isildurium picks up its father particle’s ion and bonds with the Benzene Ring itself. It could have ended there, but the compound would prove unable to get abandon that Benzene Ring, and there, trouble began.

So it was that upon contact, the two sanitizer molecules would annihilate each other and produce a toxin, in Italy known as the “Sterquilinium Quod Erit Fornicatus Tuum Sursum,” or “SQEFTS,” which will cause skin irritation in humans, but far more important is the war of the molecules. Because truly, isn’t there enough misery in the world without mixing hand sanitizers? Isn’t there enough sadness, darkness in this day and age?

But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. There is still good in this world, and it’s worth sanitizing your hands for.

I am on record on the subject of science fiction writers predicting the future: we do not. Thank goodness we don’t predict the future! If the future were predictable, then nothing any of us did would matter, because the same future would arrive, just the same. The unpredictability of the future is due to human agency, something the best science fiction writers understand to their bones. Fatalism is for corpses.

(One time, at a science fiction convention, I was on a panel with Robert Silverberg, discussing this very topic, and the subject of Heinlein’s belief in his predictive powers came up. “Oh,” Silverberg sniffed, “you mean Robert A. Timeline?” He’s a pistol!)

Science fiction does something a lot more interesting than predicting the future — sometimes, it inspires people to make a given future, and sometimes, it sparks people to action to prevent a given future.

Mostly, though, I think science fiction is a planchette on a vast, ethereal Ouija board on which all our fingers rest. We writers create all the letters the planchette can point at, all the futures we can imagine, and then readers’ automotor responses swing the planchette towards one or another, revealing their collective aspirations and fears about the future.

But sometimes, if you throw enough darts, you might hit the target, even if the room is pitch black and even if you’re not sure where the target is, or whether there even is a target.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about three times I managed to, well, not predict the future, but at least make a lucky guess. These three stories — all on the web — have been much on my mind lately, because of how they relate to crisis points in our wider world.

In chronological order they are:

Nimby and the D-Hoppers (2003)

Other People’s Money (2007)

Chicken Little (2011)

The plan for the 17th, when the adult content ban comes in, is to protest.

To do that, we are making as much noise either side of the 17th as possible, and using the site as normal.

On the 17th, dead silence.

People are saying log off but what they really mean is don’t open the site or the app.

But, on the 17th make as much noise as possible on every other platform. Tweet about it and post on facebook and instagram and everywhere else.

What this does is causes a massive dip in ad revenue for one single day. That does not make staff think ‘oh everyone’s gone let’s shut down.’ What it actually makes them think is ‘oh shit people aren’t happy and if people don’t keep using our site we’re out of money and out of jobs.’

A boycott reminds a company that the users (consumers) have the power to make their site (business) worthless with one single coordinated decision.

If you want to join in, here’s what to do:

Do:

Close all open instances of the app and site on all your devices before the 17th

Make posts before and after the 17th on tumblr and other platforms, talking about why this ban is bad

Make posts on other sites during the 17th. Flood the official tumblr staff twitter and facebook with your anger and your opinion

Come back on the 18th and check in

Don’t:

Delete the app from your phone (this doesn’t affect their revenue and since it’s off the store at the moment it’ll be hard to get back)

Delete your account. I mean you can if you want to, but if you keep your account and don’t use it you’re saying to staff that there’s still time to save it. If you delete it’s hard work to come back.

Open the app or website (including specific blogs)

Make any posts (turn down/off your queue and make sure nothing is scheduled)

Go quiet elsewhere. Make it clear that this is just about tumblr, not a mass move away from all social media.

Remember: the execs don’t care about anything but money. Shutting down the site means there’s $0 further income from it. That’s their last possible course of action. If we make it clear we’re not happy, they’ll have to do something or we can do more and more until it becomes too expensive.

Everyone in class the next day when he asks a question pertaining to the articles