Who Even Knows Anymore

i need 2 nourish my body so when i die i can contribute maximum nutrients to the trees

That’s some legit fairy tale level shit right there.

today some guy very confidently ordered a “Busted Nut Parfait” on drive thru without hesitation and i had to ask if he meant a peanut buster parfait without crying

update: today someone asked for a peanut buster parfait with “light syrup and heavy nut” and i laughed from the ice cream machine and he heard me

studies show that I literally did not ask

Fellas I’m really not trying to sound like that kinda guy but I’m literally gonna lose it

don’t date someone who doesn’t put the grocery cart back in the cart return

It’s called creating jobs

actually its called ‘not being rude and making someone’s job easier’

*pours box of cornflakes directly onto the floor of Aisle 7* it’s called creating jobs sweetie ;)

This is how digimon works