Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim.

Does this include wondering why a friend blocked you even though you were the one that got cheated on by your wife and former best friend? Maybe they chose the side of the man who called me a delusional dude while also messaging my partner of 19 years? Or maybe a good question is, why do I deserve this simply because I'm trans?

Hi Kat,

First of all, waiting over a year to somehow find my defunct tumblr makes me feel super uncomfortable.

Second, what happened between you and your ex wife is not my business, never has been, and I have never asked questions because it is again, not my business.

Third, to give you an answer to your question, I chose to remove myself from our friendship because your chronic “woe is me” mentality, and your inability or refusal to work on yourself and instead blaming the consequences of your lack of healing and how you treat others on the fact that you’re a trans woman.

I am 30 years old. I do not have the energy nor do I want to subject myself to either enabling your (or anyone else’s) victim mentality or worse, letting myself became drained trying to make you love yourself enough to want to change.

My mental health is my very first priority because I have allowed it to be uncared for my entire life. Your mental health should be yours.

Baiting me on my tumblr account (again, it makes me very uncomfortable) because I did not have the energy to give you does not make you a victim. And my decision not to enable your blaming of everyone else does not make me transphobic.

The biggest life lesson I’ve learned is that nobody owes me an explanation if they decide to step away from our relationship and I do not owe that to anyone else, especially when I don’t feel that the space is safe for me to do so.