Adventures

Pic 1: Me 2 years into oxycodone/heroin addiction. Yes, this is a mugshot. I hadn't gone to the beach more than 3 times in that two years. I didn't have a job a single day in that two years. I felt sick every day. I had nothing to live for.

Pic 2: Me 47 days into sobriety. I have been to the beach, 3 times in the last 47 days. I already have a job- 30 days after getting sober. I can actually get to sleep at night, and I actually wake up early in the morning. I have everything to live for.

I sometimes forget of all the pain I was going through. All the sleepless nights full of restless leg and sweats and pain...all the mornings, afternoons, and nights wasted on looking for my next high. The horrible drug dealers that stole my money, tried to hook up with me (thank GOD I never let myself get so low as some of my "friends" did as to actually hook up with anyone for drugs) but I also can forget how I would sell all my stuff or manipulate family into giving me "gas money" and "grocery money". I only sometimes forget these things. Until I crave again. Then I force myself to remember. I absolutely will NEVER forget my house getting raided. I will never EVER forget the two horrible days I spent in jail. But its the little stuff I need to remind myself of how painful, powerless, and unmanageable my life had become. Oh, and how much MONEY I had spent. Why wasn't I in school?!?!? But I know why. I am a drug addict. A grateful, recovering, drug addict. And JUST FOR TODAY, I make a commintment to my family, my boyfriend, his family, the people I met in rehab, my sponsor, God, and my ADORABLE little cat, that I will not get high. I will not pick up a pill. I will not go out looking for heroin. I will not lie or cheat or put myself in the position to be that powerless, hopeless girl ever again.

I am a strong, powerful woman who has made a decision to turn her will and her life over to the care of God.

I've never seen such fast and drastic changes (for GOOD reasons) in my life ever before. I cant even count my blessings on all my fingers and toes.