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hufflepuff: isfj, infp, isfp, enfp

gryffindor: estp, esfp, enfj, istp

ravenclaw: intp, intj, infj, entp

watching your child cry and screaming at them to stop and invalidating their pain and reasons for crying makes you an abuser.

staring at your child in disgust and contempt after they displease you makes you an abuser.

threatening to your child to take away their basic resources if they don’t give you exactly what you want makes you an abuser.

forcing your child to feel ashamed for not living up to your ideals makes you an abuser.

using slurs, hateful names and insults on your own child without any regard to what it does to their mental health makes you an abuser.

forcing your child to chase impossible expectations and making them feel like they’re worthless for not achieving them makes you an abuser.

acting like your child is a burden and a waste of space and blaming their illness/disability/depression on it makes you an abuser.

behaving like your child will never amount to anything and isn’t worth any resources and nurturing makes you an abuser.

making your child feel like they’re never good enough makes you an abuser.

if your child’s heart is hurting because they know no matter what they do and how hard they try they will always be a failure in your eyes, you are an abuser.

if your child can’t look at themselves without self hatred because they had to look at themselves from your perspective and all they saw is disgust and hatred, you’re an abuser.

If your child is struggling to believe they have the right to live and to be cared and loved, if they can’t stop hearing your hateful voice putting them down and using their every action to prove they’re worthless, you’re an abuser.

If you watched your child in pain and assured them they deserved it, you’re an abuser.

sometimes gaslighting is you protesting over and over, and them saying “you don’t have to make such a big deal out of it”

sometimes it’s “i really tried my best with you, but clearly i couldn’t do it”

sometimes it’s “i would never do that to you”, “if you really asked me to stop, wouldn’t i have stopped?”, “i don’t know what i’d do if i ever hurt you”

“denying and rewriting your reality” is not a one-time conversation, either. it is a sneak attack, flying under the radar and taking you out, one communication at a time, never drawing all the attention at once.

keeping a child not knowing if they’re going to face a normal day or a day of screaming, tantrums and abuse you throw at them is torture.

keeping a child aware you can and intend to humiliate, hit, insult and scream at the moment they don’t do as they’re told to is torture.

keeping a child aware you’re building up their hatred towards them and waiting for a perfect moment to take it all out on them is torture.

threatening your child and keeping them terrified of how badly you could hurt them is torture, the longer it goes on, the bigger the psychological toll on the child.

letting your child know that their shelter, food, and permission to live is hanging by a thin thread and it can break any time, with any mistake they make, is torture.

keeping a child in condition where their every action, word, face expression or emotion could cause an avalanche of hatred and pain, accusations and blame on them, where their anxiety rises with every time they express, is torture.

having your child feel like they don’t deserve to be loved or comforted or paid attention to is torture.

having your child feel like they have to exhaust every last bit of their energy just to deserve to be alive is torture.

having your child feel like wanting for anything but the mere minimum they need for survival is selfish and makes them a burden is torture

having your child feel like their every need and want is a burden is torture.

having your child feel like they’ll never be good enough is torture.

submissive

extremely obedient

silent about their needs

always content with what they get, even if it’s much less than they need

pleasing to everyone around them

giving others what they want even when it’s harmful and painful to do so

expecting punishment at merely displeasuring someone

expecting pain as soon as they don’t meet someone’s expectations

not good enough unless they make everyone else happy

putting their needs last, or not having needs at all

extremely grateful for every little bit of human decency they get

best in the world in everything, or else they’re worthless

recognizing that people who hurt them most likely do it unintentionally or even worse, out of love

accepting hurtful behaviour without calling it out, complaining about it, or even letting the perpetrator know how much they got hurt

extremely forgiving, to the point where they forgive without even getting an apology, or with the hurtful offense still going on

tolerating insults, humiliation, slurs, and hatred being directed at them

never showing outright anger, rage, resentment, or hold a grudge

never fighting for their rights

never refusing to do what’s asked of them

accepting that they might be unlovable and that nobody will ever want them

1. fuck how do i turn emotion off