the life of i

tell fat people they’re hot! tell fat people they look good! tell fat people they’re sexy! stop desexualizing fat people by solely calling them cute/cuddly/soft/a teddy bear etc.

I’m feeling particularly parasocial today but at least it’s in an I’m feeling disproportionately happy that someone I’ve never met is getting something they’ve always wanted way and not an I’m traveling to NYC and stalking the wedding of someone I’ve never met way

also if someone gave me their number on a friendship bracelet at the eras tour id fucking fold for them. id become so obsessed with them. id go home and listen to enchanted 500 times

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic. 

If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.