You shouldn't be looking

Tell them they did good

Remind them they didn’t hurt you and that you are mentally ok

If they did hurt you tell them how much you enjoyed it

Tell them you felt safe in your scene

Make sure they hydrate and refuel with a little snack if they need it

Thank them for fulfilling your desires

Cuddle them, pet them, hold them

If either of you safeworded discuss why you did so and how to prevent it from progressing that far in the future

ABUSE IS NOT S/M AND S/M IS NOT ABUSE

by the Northwest Network

Whether you are topping, or bottoming, or both, these are some questions to ask yourself:

■ Is your partner turned on by violating your limits or terms?

■ Does your partner not use a safeword, and then later say you violated his/her limits?

■ Does she claim to know more about your s/m "energy" than you do?

■ Does your partner try to extend a dynamic outside of a scene without your consent?

■ Does your partner expect you to read her mind about what she/he wants?

■ Does your partner refuse to talk about what felt wrong or confusing to you about a scene?

■ Does your partner negotiate while in role when you haven't agreed to that?

■ Do you feel guilty after playing, like you've done something wrong?

■ Do you feel like you're playing because you have to?

■ Does your partner involve others in your scenes without asking?

■ Does your partner say you pushed her/him too far even though you stayed within the limits you negotiated?

■ Does your partner humiliate you by talking about your play in public without your consent?

■ Does your partner use arousal or orgasm as evidence of consent?

■ Do you feel fear or dread about ending a scene or setting a limit?

■ Does she say you're not "real" for wanting to switch or pressure you into switching?

■ Are you confused about when a scene begins and ends?

■ Do you feel that if you could just play better, be hotter or give/take more, everything could be okay?

■ Does your partner use scenes to suppress or cover up anger and frustration?

Good question! Thanks!

I’ve never really thought about it, tbh. But just with a quick consideration I’d say - it’s messy and pretty and typically results from some form of vulnerable and/or violent interaction with the body. I like watching it drip n dribble, after seeping out from the skin. The color and movement is intoxicating. I enjoy the way it looks when it smears across the skin. It’s evidence of an intimacy that not everyone can appreciate or enjoy. To me, the ways in which I engage with blood as a kink feels like a form of living art…one that can never be replicated once it’s time has passed. There’s a lot to like.