The Lady Crass

In honor of yesterday’s Pi Day, here are some terrible jokes. 

Who invented the Round Table? Sir Cumference.

What's the official animal of Pi Day? The pi-thon.

What did pi say to his partner? Stop being irrational.

Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? His parents wouldn’t cosine.

What did one math book say to the other? Don't bother me. I have my own problems.

What is the first derivative of a cow? Prime rib.

You should never talk to pi ... he goes on forever.

How far can you recite pi? Apple, cherry, blueberry, pecan, peach ...

Why are diapers like 100 dollar bills? They always need to be changed.

What piece of clothing does the mermaid wear? An algae-bra.

What do you get when you cut a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.

How can I know so many digits of pi and so few digits of your phone number?

Who led mathematicians out of Hamelin? The pi-ed pi-per!

Here are some “Helpful Hints” on how to avoid food cravings as according to the internet and all of its wisdom:

 1) Be prepared!

Healthy Snacks. Check *eats all her healthy snacks*

Thing to fiddle with. Check *rolls her D20 back and forth*

People to talk to. Check *Argues about PC vs. Console*

2. Set a timer for at least 20 minutes, then go do something fun until it rings.

“Alexa, Set timer to 20 Minutes”………..*plays with toes…….pokes the dog…..rolls on floor and pretends she’ll die if she doesn’t eat pizza*

3. Ask yourself if you’d eat an apple right now.

*eats apple* Yep!

4. Move your body. Examples: Hitting the gym works or a solo dance party.

*plays “All by myself” by Céline Dion and slow dances* HARD TO BE SURE! SOMETIMES I FEEL SO INSECURE! AND LOVE’S SOOOOOOOOOoooooo DISTANT AND OBSCURE!! *whispers* I miss you pizza…..

5. Drink some water.

Does water come in Pizza flavor?

6. Savor a hot mug of tea.

Is the mug half full or half pizza-less

7. Turn to an all-natural gum.

*eats whole pack of gum* This is a really BIG craving.

8. Substitute with comfort food swaps like frozen bananas instead of ice-cream.

BLASPHEME!!!!!!

9. Tell yourself you can fulfill the craving if you leave the house to buy it. You might not want it as bad as you think and instead decide to pass.

I can have pizza if I walk to the store to get it….

*puts on hiking shoes, grabs water bottle, puts on coat and heads to the pizza place*

10. Just have whatever you’re craving, guilt-free.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: "CONSOLE OR PC? WHY OR WHY NOT?"

Right...I have’t updated the Exercise Journal part of my tumbler in awhile.