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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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@theintelligentfool

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idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????
'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa
THIRTY TWO??????
Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.
May I present the best apple:
the world is so big and beautiful
goku — or, as the french call him, geauxcoup,
topless mahjong is gonna be the next big thing
Indigenous peoples of the great plains should've never told white people about tornadoes. "I don't know man that shit never happened before you showed up"
very prescriptivist joke you made there. i can see how you thought it was funny by ignoring the interiority of indigenous peoples and reinterpreting their choices as absurd under the lens of your own imperialist doctrines
i'm just fucking with you that would have been funny as hell

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A guide on Mount Everest, 57 year old Hillary Dawa Sherpa, was separated from the British climber he had been hired to guide, ran out of oxygen, fell into a crevasse, was trapped in the crevasse for 2 and a half days before freeing himself and walking/crawling back towards base camp. He was alone on the mountain for 6 days.
Yes! Just to clarify, he was found alive and most reports state he was only treated for frostbite on his hands and a fracture. He survived on chocolate and chunks of ice for almost a week while descending Everest alone and injured.
Correction: Dawa Sherpa was the guide to a Polish climber, the British climber was another client of the company that Dawa Sherpa worked for. The Polish climber had frostbite and had run out of oxygen and the British climber descended with him. He claims he was not aware the guide was also in distress.
GUILD WARS 3 REAL
im on my phone and don't have my reaction images so just imagine I crudely edited the peggle 2 announcement GIF to say 3
Thought of Boone having a drink over the concept of liking someone, made me giggle
A /r/RedScarePod poster asks why there are so many non-binary people now and another responds “not sure, but +1 to the phenomenon, I see them all the time now working in the New Mexican oil fields”
Happy pride to the oil rig non-binaries
This insane update from Neocities

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Did you know that taxonomically there is no such thing as a video game?
a video game is actually more closely related to a camel than it is to a hagfish
how to get out of your own way
Hello!
Howdy!
I’d like, uh, two normal rolls.
Sure thing!
And one with the… With the pumpkin seeds.
Which do you mean?
The one with the… With the seeds.
What are they called?
Uhm… A, uh, “crunchy pumpky.”
Sure thing. Would you like anything else?
Uhh… I’ll also take a, uh… A… A Nutella donut…?
Unfortunately, I don’t know at all what you mean…
A… One of those right there!
You really must tell me, what’s it called??
I… I’m… I’m a dumb piece of shit.
Sure thing! Anything else?
That one there?
You know what you need to do. [Here she switches from the formal, customer service voice to addressing him casually and familiarly.]
I… I’m a little greedy pig, oink oink?
Do it!
[grunts like a pig]
That comes to €13.50, please! Have a beautiful day!
Hello! I’d like an “I hate my father” and two “I have a small willi—” [The word that gets cut off is Pimmel, an un-sexy term for penis.]
field trip cancelled
Based off hit tumblr post:
Christians when they die and go to science instead of heaven

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We should popularize more hispanized phonetic spellings of classic character names like we did with esnupi
Citripio y Arturito
HAPPY PRIDE