So long, farewell, and thanks for all the Boners
I found out about Tumblr well over a decade ago. A young lady that I had some really racey encounters with suggested that I look at her blog. And so I did.
It was sexual, and lurid, and suggestive, somehow artistic, and I was hooked. I immediately created my own page and began searching out other adult-oriented pages.
At the time, I was a heterosexual white male, raised in the church, and disciplined to only speak of sex in hush tones. And, in those cases, only speak of it in terms of procreation. No one was to know what your preferences were. And, god forbid those preferences weren’t in line with the social construct of “normal”. In believing this was who I was, I had never ventured outside of my searches of rather vanilla (by today’s standards) pornographic material.
But, the wonderful thing about Tumblr was the way that you would roll through ALL of the posts of someone you followed. And so, as I would be aroused by the artistic picture of a curvy female lounging in slinky lingerie, I would scroll to the next image, and it would be a beautiful man with a perfect erection. And, for the first time in my life, I wasn’t immediately opposed to the picture. I was interested. What’s more, I was in love with it.
Suddenly, my repressed sexuality began to ferment inside my curiosity, and I began to search more. The bulk of my tumblr viewing was always geared toward beautiful women and heterosexual sex between a man and a woman. But, suddenly, my feed was beginning to fill with homosexuality, and bdsm, and kink I had never even dreamed of.
I began sharing my blog with sexual partners that I trusted with my sexuality, and through looking at their own discoveries, we began to understand each other better and become better sexual partners. It was sharing porn, but it wasn’t sharing cheesy staged videos of the same five girls doing the same five positions. There were still photos and gifs were your own imagination could fill in your own cast of characters. I created some of the most intimate, and beautiful physical relationships I had ever experienced due in large part to this sight.
A few weeks ago, as I scrolled through my feed, I took notice of how far I had come as a human. When I first discovered this plethora of sexual awakening, I was a firm heterosexual male. Scared of not only sharing his sexuality, but more damning, scared to explore my own sexuality in quiet privacy. But, as I scrolled through the feed of the beautiful blogs I have followed, I saw beautiful, and intriguing images. From women that defied the cultural definition of “perfect”, to virile and athletic men having aggressive sex. Beautiful transsexual women, and incredibly normal amateurs reveling in their own sexuality. I was, of course, on the site to masturbate. But, at that moment, I opened my eyes to the sexually confident, and non-judgmental being I had become. I owed my sexuality, in large part, to this website.
Most importantly, I cultivated one of the most sexually incredible relationships I have ever developed. My Kitten, that I refer to often on my page, is a stunning creature that just radiates sensuality. I believe her to be perfect in every way. And, I would have never approached her in any sexual fashion, had it not been for the confidence, and the awakening I earned from following Tumblr. Today, she is what I consider my best friend. And she fucks me better than any porn star. And, our sexual repertoire is based heavily on the images we have seen on Tumblr. I love her, and her body, and her skills. And, without this site, I probably would have never had the courage to approach her sexually. Much less, open up to her sexually, and reveal all of my newly-learned secrets. I am a more complete man because of her, and the sexual relationship that we have built.
I am sad to watch the site cut off its nose, to spite its face. Tumblr could be such a positive force in the world of sexuality and pornography. However, instead of working to become a gatekeeper, the company has decided to completely shun it’s multiple users. Somewhere, in middle America, or maybe in a staunchly religious UK home, or in a repressed town in the Middle East, there is a frustrated and confused man, or woman, that doesn’t understand where they belong, or even what they want. At one point in time, Tumblr was a nightlight in the dark corners of kink, that allowed those people to anonymously search out their curiosities, and their interests. It allowed them to quietly and discretely discover themselves.
Tonight, when the site closes its door to adult content, they will be closing a chapter of awakening for a lot of human beings just scrapping for some form of “self” in this world.
I’m saying this as a man that can finally admit to himself that he is bisexual. A man that can freely roam between the roles of being a dominant, a submissive, a “wolf”, a “daddy”, a slut, and a gentleman. Tumblr shutting out all sexually oriented material is taking away one of the few places in the world where someone could feel free to be themselves. I mean this in the most sincere of ways, this is an incredibly sad day.
To all of my followers, To all of those I follow, To my Kitten: Goodbye, and thanks for all the smut.
andulkaphoto
germansingergirl
