stop right there criminal scum

"Peaceful beginnings, gentle giant gardeners, and curious spirits"

"The spirits saw the dwarves as they tended to the Titans, and they wanted to try making bodies for themselves"

"The spirits made physical bodies for themselves from the 'flesh' of the Titans. The first elves were born, and the first war began"

"A brutal war raged on between the elves and the Titans, only ending when one elf (Solas) rendered the Titans 'tranquil', capturing their souls"

"The elves brought a powerful war trophy home"

"With the Titans rendered tranquil, dwarves lost their connection to magic. They fled into the bodies of their fallen hosts"

"With the power that came from the captured Titan souls, the elves built the greatest empire Thedas would ever see"

The gods drew upon the power of the Titans' souls to gain more power. The imprisoned souls became twisted with rage. This became the blight."

"To contain the blight outbreak, Solas performed a desperate blood-magic ritual. He bound up the magic of the world behind a veil and powered it with the blood of the evil gods."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???????????????? I GET SOME OF THIS IS IMPLIED IN THE GAME BUT NONE OF IT IS ACTUALLY STATED OUTRIGHT. I THOUGHT THEY JUST DIDNT FEEL LIKE FIGURING OUT THEIR OWN LORE THEMSELVES BUT THEY DID IT BEHIND THE SCENES IT JUST DIDNT MAKE IT INTO THE GAME?????

It’s spectacular and I love it. The one major question it raises for me is that this doesn’t show humans existing in Thedas, and both Mythal and Solas talk about “living like humans”

The Warden who literally got their job yesterday and was put in charge of saving the world for some reason

the second-most-recent warden who immediately pushed all the responsibility on you and REALLY doesn’t want to tell you who his daddy is because that would mean more responsibility he does not want

this random swamp witch who’s mother may or may not be Baba Yaga but she personally has never been anywhere larger than a small village and does NOT understand human interactions also she can turn into a spider

a bisexual nun who you met in a bar who told you that God told her to tag along with you but actually she used to be a spy and has murdered a lot of people, but also she assures you that she never took vows of chastity so she’s dtf

a grown up child soldier giant man who you got out of a cage for some reason who spends half the time negging you and talking in circles but is apparently into that and also the only thing he likes about your country is cookies

an assassin that was hired to kill you and immediately started flirting with you the moment he failed at doing that and you just thought it was a good call to let him tag along

an elderly woman who has assigned herself the role of group grandmother, really doesn’t want you to fuck or talk about griffins, and also she’s possessed. let’s be real, she probably regrets being in this group

a dwarf who’s wife ended up being a psychopath and a lesbian, so he just decided to skip town with you

a magical construct that has spent the last 30 years getting shit on by birds and just is REALLY pissed off by that

A dog that is able to comprehend human language and uses that ability solely to beg for treats

And the optional:

You heard the man.