thegoldenymph

I am grateful for waking up today and having the opportunity to laugh, play, write, love, and create.

What I want to focus on today is my recognition that out of my painful experiences can come immense beauty-and through that beauty, I can create a life worth living, not a life worth leaving.

Does accepting that beauty can come from pain mean that I accept what happened to me? That it was okay? Absolutely not.

However, for years, I believed it did. That belief, mixed with resentment, kept me stuck and unable to move forward.

Life has been traumatic for me, as it has for many. I've been trapped in a painful cycle of resentment: Why do I have to heal from traumatic things that were done to me? Why do the people who harmed me not have to take accountability? How can I ever move on from that?

It's finally hit me. I have two choices. I can either accept what happened to me and build from it, or I don't. For years, I simply didn't want to. But I feel myself moving out of that mindset now. Even though I may feel differently minutes, hours, or days from now-especially when my complex PTSD disables me-I can always come back to this truth. I can remember that the wave will eventually meet the sand, and this feeling won't last forever.

My life has been painful, and it has been beautiful. I have had incredible experiences and opportunities that others will never have. I can accept this duality.

And accepting this does not mean the traumas that caused my disability didn't happen, or that my suffering isn't real.

Ok I had a really productive morning! I have therapy soon. I need to contonue to write in here to remind myself that while I feel stagnant, my healing is happening in the little moments throughout the day.

Things I've incorporated into my routine:

-Showering daily -Face Care 1x daily -Brush/Floss 1x daily at minimum -Play w/ Marty once (minimum) throughout the day

Working on: