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@thefibber
Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive.
Hafiz (via wordsnquotes)

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I want to make a point on the “lesbians sleeping with men” trope
There is an over abundance of stories about lesbians falling in love with or sleeping with men.
There are a ton of shitty examples (Chasing Amy, Kissing Jessica Stein, The Kids are Alright) in mainstream media. For some reason filmmakers in particular love to tell this story (though literary adult fiction does it a lot too). It always ends with the lesbian either staying a lesbian, turning straight, or adopting some vague no labels bs so she can be with the dude.
I know no lesbians who like these stories. They are sick to death of seeing them.
There is a dearth of stories about ‘lesbians’ falling in love with or sleeping with men and realizing that they’re actually bi.
You never ever see this in media. Seriously I’m struggling to name an example. Maybe Tina from the L Word? But that’s kinda a stretch since her character arc was an inconsistent train wreck so it was hard to tell what she was realizing there. Erica Moen has written about it in her comic work that is autobiographical, but I can’t think of any fictional stories about this besides the upcoming Ramona Blue.
Bi women love these stories. They are desperate for more of these stories. They hold onto the aforementioned shitty example movies because they’re all we can get. I’m a big believer in needing more bisexual-using-the-b-word representation in media for bi people but frankly in a desert, sometimes you drink sand. I know plenty of bi women who have a soft spot for films like Chasing Amy because for years it was the closest thing to bisexuality or their story of bisexuality that you could find on screen. We understand they are problematic, but we still cling to them. Its deeply unfair to heap scorn on bi women for cherishing those scraps when scraps are all we’ve been given.
This is a clear case where the lesbian experience with this as a trope and the bi experiance with this as a story is very different. For people who don’t understand why stories like Chasing Amy and Ramona Blue are wanted and cherished by bi women, this is your chance to listen to what we are saying about our real life experiences and how it plays into our desires for these stories. You have a chance to learn here. Please consider doing so.
- Sarah
interesting tho that you apparently are not as hard up for stories about women who strongly identify as straight and then realize they are bi, which is way more likely to happen. you admit there is plenty of representation of lesbians “becoming” effectively bi even if they don’t explicitly call it that, whereas i can’t think of any media representation of the reverse. hmmmmm.
“For some reason filmmakers in particular love to tell this story”
for SOME reason. if ONLY we knew why. gee. golly. what a mystery.
(p.s. i understand why you like chasing amy and the reason is garbage taste)
It’s not “deeply unfair” to criticize bisexual women for celebrating lesbophobic stories that are usually (as is the case of Chasing Amy) written by straight men as a means of gross “maybe a lesbian will sleep with me” wish fulfilment. What’s deeply unfair is you and other bisexual women telling us to shut up and pretend stories like this don’t harm us. Bisexual women deserve representation, but you don’t get to love and support offensive stories and then claim we’re being mean when you’re called to address it. These narratives have a real (negative) impact on how we at viewed and received in the real world.
Ok, lets take this apart line by line cuz I… yeah…. okay
“interesting tho that you apparently are not as hard up for stories about women who strongly identify as straight and then realize they are bi, which is way more likely to happen.”
No, we’re pretty hard up for stories about women who strongly identify as straight and then realize they are bi too. We’re hard up for ANYTHING. There are very few books about bisexual people at all. That’s kinda why this blog exists. Not sure where you are getting this strawman person who doesn’t care about that….. because that’s a huge chunk of the conversation we’ve been having on this blog for almost four years.
Also I’m not really sure I get what you’re saying here. Are you saying that because something is uncommon it shouldn’t be represented? I mean I haven’t taken a statistical sample or anything, but the narrative of ‘was lesbian realized I was bi’ while less common than ‘was straight realized I was bi’ still happens a lot. Lisa Diamond wrote a whole book about it called Sexual Fluidity where she interviewed tons of women who once self-identified as lesbians but who no longer do. Diane Anderson-Minshall (creator of Girlfriends magazine, EIC of Curve and The Advocate) famously calls herself a ‘bisexual-identified lesbian’. If you read the notes and tags on this post you will literally see dozens of bi women saying over and over again ‘oh my god that is exactly what has happened to me’.
So what exactly is the threshold between ‘way more likely to happen’ and way less likely to happen for LGBTQ people? Who decides what stories have met this mythical common/uncommon threshold? This seems to me a slippery slope into respectability politics.
you admit there is plenty of representation of lesbians “becoming” effectively bi even if they don’t explicitly call it that,
No. That’s actually the polar opposite of what I’m saying. Please re-read what I actually wrote. Not sure why you’re creating this second strawman here….
whereas i can’t think of any media representation of the reverse. hmmmmm.
You can’t think of any media representation where bi women become lesbians? What about Jenny and Alice from The L Word? Those two not only went from bi to lesbian, they went full biphobe. Then there was Min from that wretched film adaptation of Geography Club. Willow from Buffy ie the most famous example ever??
But you know, if you are in good faith telling me that you as a lesbian want to see more stories where ‘bisexuals’ realize they are actually lesbians, sure. Maybe its your story. I don’t know. Cool. Let’s have them. This isn’t a zero sum game. Let’s get adequate media representation for everyone. I will from now on support you 100% on this. I even made a text post about it. Help me signal boost?
“For some reason filmmakers in particular love to tell this story”
for SOME reason. if ONLY we knew why. gee. golly. what a mystery.
I actually don’t know.
Do you? Can you tell me? Like, I’m guessing that it is a ‘pornogrification of queer women’s sexuality’ thing but I’ve never really been into film or film studies so I don’t know. That’s just my shot in the dark. I’ve never studied it. I’m a literature person so film analysis is mostly outside my wheelhouse. I know this particular story of ‘lesbian falls for a dude and never has to deal with real coming out unless mumbling some vague crap about not liking labels’ as a trope is also overly present in highbrow literary novels for adults too. But I suspect it works differently in a visual media than in prose and I would love to hear some theories as to why.
(p.s. i understand why you like chasing amy and the reason is garbage taste)
…..
I don’t actually like Chasing Amy. Understanding why some people like a thing is not the same as liking it myself. But thanks for your third strawman packed into such a short post.
It’s not “deeply unfair” to criticize bisexual women for celebrating lesbophobic stories that are usually (as is the case of Chasing Amy) written by straight men as a means of gross “maybe a lesbian will sleep with me” wish fulfilment.
I’ve not seen anyone in this thread or the previous ones about Ramona Blue ‘celebrating’ Chasing Amy. Liking a problematic thing because you have no other options is a vastly different thing than celebrating. One involves sitting in your own house with mixed emotions, and the other involves balloons.
I will say that sometimes see very young lesbians AND bisexual women celebrating movies like Chasing Amy because they’ve never seen queer women in film before, but usually that is something you get over by the time you’re old enough to drink. I personally don’t hold that against them. We were all young once. *shrug*
Also this is like the fourth strawman. Do you guys have a bet going on or something? Who can assemble the most fake strawman bisexuals in one post? What does the winner get?
What’s deeply unfair is you and other bisexual women telling us to shut up and pretend stories like this don’t harm us.
I also never said that. Again, please reread what I actually wrote.
For those counting, we are now up to five strawmen. Five. I have no idea what is happening here…..
Bisexual women deserve representation, but you don’t get to love and support offensive stories and then claim we’re being mean when you’re called to address it.
Again, there is a big difference between ‘love and support’ and ‘soft spot for problematic things’. Again, re-read what I actually wrote. I never used the words love, support, or celebrate. What you are talking about bears no resemblance to what I wrote.
This is strawman number six. Gosh its getting kinda tense up in here….*gulp* I really hope there is a fabulous prize involved for shoehorning so many rhetorically terrible logical fallacies into one post.
These narratives have a real (negative) impact on how we at viewed and received in the real world.
I agree! Dominant narratives in LGBTQ culture like “showing a lesbian coming out as bi is bad” do have a real negative impact on how we (the we here being bisexuals) are viewed and received in the real world. Bravo to Julie Murphy and Ramona Blue for challenging that dominant narrative! Glad to see we can end on a point of total consensus that I did not just totally achieve by a willful misinterpretation of your words.
So in conclusion:
Also…….
Reading is fundamental kids.
When your ability to argue a point is based on creating no less then six strawman arguments to inflate and misrepresent your opponent in order to claim some kind of easy, preachy, and totally fake moral high ground, you might want to rethink your life and your choices.
I’m just going to repeat myself: You have a chance to learn here. Please consider doing so.
- Sarah
Flood my Mornings: History and Proper Usage
Notes from Mod Bonnie:
This story takes place in an AU in which Jamie travels through the stones two years after Culloden and finds Claire and his child in 1950 Boston.
See all past installments via Bonnie’s Master List
Previous installment: Every Day and Everything (Claire gets a letter from Frank).
History and Proper Usage
“OH!!! Oh, honey, you scared the bejeezus out of me!!!!”
Jamie had nearly come out of his skin, himself, at the skelloch that had greeted his entry through the front door moments before. In fact, he’d reached instinctively for the absent dirk at his belt, feeling an irrational but deep-rooted panic at finding it two hundred years gone.
Even so, he recovered quickly and hastened into the living room. “I’m terribly sorry to have startled you, Penelope,” he said, stooping to retrieve the knitting Ms. Byrd had dropped onto the floor.
“Oh, nothing to fret over, Mr. Jamie,” she said, breathing heavily with her hand over her bosom, but smiling now, eyes crinkled with affection. “It’s just I wasn’t expecting–” She checked the clock on the wall, a flicker of alarm crossing her face once more. “Goodness, it’s only 3:00! Is everything alright. Are you getting sick again? Do you need the doctor?”
“Och, no, dinna fash, a nighean,” he said, squeezing her hand. “Hank (the farmhand with whom I ride to Fernacre, ken?) had an appointment wi’ a Dentist in town for 4 o’clock that he’d forgotten ‘til the last moment. Rather than find me someone else to get a ride with, Tom said just to take the rest of the afternoon ‘for myself.’”
“Oh, how lovely!”
He gave a small shrug. “I’m no’ accustomed to being at my leisure, to be honest… but I wagered you wouldna mind me taking Brianna off your hands for few hours? I was thinking we’d go to the park, perhaps. It’s a fine day for it,” he said, gesturing toward the bay window behind the sofa, which showed the hot, blue day beyond.
Penelope’s face twisted with regret. “Oh, Mr. Jamie, little Bree’s just gone down for a nap. Normally, she’d be waking up right about now, and typically I’d say you could wake her in any case, but, OH, she was ornery as all get-out the whole day, so I really think waking her would be a bad idea, and–”
Jamie cut off this stream of anxious apology and assured Penelope it was no great thing, that she was perfectly correct that the lass needed rest; but in truth he was disappointed. He enjoyed the work at Fernacre and was very glad of it, but he missed his wee lass all the more for being gone from her during the day.
“What can I make for you?” Penelope said, bustling toward the kitchen with the conviction of a woman who knows for a fact that good food can cure anything.
“Please dinna trouble yourself,” he called, following her in haste to prevent her preparing a restorative four-course meal for him. “Truly, I’m not all that hungr—”
“Nonsense,” she said firmly, already preparing a plate for him. “Chocolate chip banana bread fresh from the oven. Warmed with honey butter, it can’t be beat, if I do say so myself!”
“You’re a verra stubborn woman, Penelope.” He took the proffered plate, bending to kiss the dear lady’s weathered cheek. “And if ye ever should leave us, the Frasers would all shrivel up in despair.”
He ate standing in front of the living room bookshelf (she was right—the sweet bread couldn’t be beat, warm and soft, dotted with wee morsels of chocolate) perusing Claire’s collection of a dozen or so books. Most of these were novels, and almost all published in the eighteenth century. Treasure Island. A Tale of Two Cities. Pride and Prejudice. Jane Eyre. He checked once more to be sure. Aye, he’d read them all, now.
“Does Claire keep books anywhere else in the house?” he asked hopefully, poking his head back into the kitchen.
“Not that I know of,” Penelope said, after considering for a moment. “But the library is only four blocks away, if you want something new.”
“Oh, aye?” Jamie said, perking up considerably at that. “I didna realize there was a university so close.”
“No, no, just the local public library,” she said, laughing as she dried her hands on a towel. “Do they not have those in Scotland?”
Jamie could have died a happy man, standing there in the public library. So many books, on every topic imaginable, all beautifully bound and organized. He walked around in awe, reading the placards that denoted the sections.
The history aisles drew him at once, promising knowledge of all of recorded time, of all corners of the world. Asia. Africa. Islands of the Pacific Ocean whose names he’d never heard. Countless volumes having to do with northern Europe: Sweden, the lowlands, France, England, Ireland….Scotland…
His fingertips hovered over the spine of Culloden and the Clearances: the Destruction of Highland Culture in the 18th-19th Centuries.
No…Not yet.
On and on the aisles went. Literature. Science. Periodicals. Children’s books. It was a small building, but it must have housed thousands upon thousands of tomes. A posting in the entry hall had boasted dozens of libraries throughout the Boston area. The sheer wealth of knowledge available to any person that cared to walk a few paces from his home to inquire after it…
But dinna let your eyes outstrip your wallet, man.
“Begging your pardon, miss,” he said to the nearest employee, who was occupied with restocking the shelves, “Might you be so kind as to direct me toward a price schedule?”
She looked puzzled for a moment, no doubt surprised by his unusual accent, then she smiled back. “A library card is ten cents, sir.” She gave a kind nod of the head and turned back to her work.
“And the volumes?” Jamie pressed patiently, “What is the rental fee per book, if ye please?”
She gave him a look of dumbfounded amusement, speaking slowly (but in no way mocking) as though to a young child. “Well, once you have the card, you can check out any book for free.”
Jamie stared at her, now he the dumbfounded one. “Truly?”
“Yes, of course!” she laughed. “As many as you want… as long as you bring them back in two weeks.”
Good God, what a time this was…. when ten cents gives a man access to practically all useful knowledge of the known world.
An hour later, when the same kind lass assisted him with purchasing a library card and stamping the books he’d chosen, she gave him a bemused look (something of a specialty with her, it seemed). “You’ve got quite the selection here!”
He had limited himself to a half-dozen books for this excursion, including: The Industrial Revolution: how the nineteenth century changed the world; The World Wars: (1914-1946); and Recent Innovations in Communication Technology. She placed Flora and Fauna of South America in the paper bag she’d been kind enough to provide for him. “Are you going on vacation or something?”
“No,” he said with a smile, handing her the final tome (a novel, with the most intriguing title of Journey to the Center of the Earth), “it’s just that I’ve a verra great many things to learn.”
As Jamie passed the park on his way back to the house, he checked the wristwatch that Claire had bought for him: nearly 5:00. Claire would be home soon…but he was far too excited to wait.
He sat on a park bench and reached into his sack for the book he’d been most elated to find: The Automobile: its History and Proper Usage (1949 edition).
He flipped through the pages hastily. He would come back to read about the events of the machine’s invention later; the only one thing he wished to learn about at present began on page 68.
STARTING THE ENGINE
The carburetor is fitted with an automatic choke which correctly proportions the fuel mixture during the starting and warm-up period.
1. Place gear shift lever in neutral position. 2. Depress clutch pedal, and–
He felt his enthusiasm being stabbed by the tremors of doubt such novelties always provoked in him at first meeting. The words on the page might as well have been a foreign language to him.
“But no harder than Latin or Greek or Hebrew, Fraser,” he muttered sternly to himself. “And ye didna learn those save by study and hard work.”
He removed the small notebook from his pocket and opened to the most recent entry. It was naught but a few lines jotted down in the men’s room after the lunchtime conversation with Tom and some of the other lads; a conversation during which he’d nodded and said a great deal of “Aye, certainly,” but kept quiet:
America’s President: Trueman (sp?)
President= powerful minister in lieu of king; elected by the peoples’ vote; only keeps power for (x) yrs [ask Claire]
He’d been making notations in the wee book for the past several weeks, now, taking care to write always in Gaelic against the possibility that his notes should be discovered and raise questions that had no answer. It was the only way he knew to chip away at the overwhelming immensity of things to be learned, and so far, it had helped tremendously.
Jamie turned to a new page, and utilized the book’s glossary to make sense of page 68.
Carburetor: “a device in an internal combustion engine for mixing air with a fine spray of liquid fuel” ((no apparent relation to the driving of vehicle just makes the thing move; same for “choke”))
Gear shift lever: “Should always be placed in neutral position before starting engine. Raise knob and move lever forward for reverse gear and rearward for low gear. Move lever to neutral, depress and slide forward for second gear and rearward for high gear.” ((found on right-hand side of steering wheel))
With a small laugh, and with the remembered reek of what the three Americans had called “weed” in his nostrils, he jotted a title at the top of the section:
Horseless wagon of certain death.
[to be continued]
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😍😍😍 #Outlander #outlanderStarz #OutlanderSeries #OutlanderSeason3
OTP fights in fanfiction
Person 1: (loud arguing)
Person 2: (loud arguing)
Person 1: BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!!
Person 2: (stunned silence)
Me:

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My kink is husbands & wives who are still portrayed as very much in love with each other, because even after years of commitment and kids, they still talk to each other, go on fun random adventures and try new things. No resentment. No portrayal of marriage as a chore. Just actual love.
Today on Phrases That Made Me Feel Really Old:
“Buffy the Vampire Slayer Modern AU”
oh my gods
*softly*
no
@heavens-to-murgatroid I always imagine you as the Alpha of your siblings.
my brothers would probably agree that this sounds like me ): lol
Obama right now.
Buffy: Well, look who’s here. Angel: Hi.

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another meme i won’t finish » [3/20] female characters: cj cregg
This guy’s trying to get a little bit of free media by screwing with us. I’m the enforcer, Sam. I’m gonna crush him, I’m gonna make him cry, and then I’m gonna tell his mama about it!
Come back to me, James Fraser.

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Irish politician Aodhán Ó Ríordáin (TD, Labour Party Senator) calls out the Irish government on their reaction to election of Donald Trump.
“TRUMP IS A FASCIST AND I’M EMBARRASSED BY THE GOVERNMENT’S RESPONSE.”
@HamiltonMusical: Tonight, VP-Elect Mike Pence attended #HamiltonBway. After the show, @BrandonVDixon delivered the following statement on behalf of the show.