theespiraling

my hottest yellowjackets take is that shauna shipman is perfect and has never done anything wrong ever

helena eagan is arguably the funniest character in television. oh my innie hijacked me and stole my body to expose the truth about severance? oh sorry guys i was really drunk and also i had an arm rash sorry about that. wait what my innie is lowkey pulling? yeah lemme rewind that tape real quick. actually rewind that a few more times. actually you know what would make the most sense maybe i should just go in as a spy, and if i have to get laid by my innie's hot pathetic boss oh well! yeah and if that doesn't work out maybe i could go find his outie at a chinese restaurant? and have the awkwardest conversation known to man? but it's okay because there's this underlying sexual tension?? and i really think i could be on to something here!!

no you don't GET IT. the reason there is so much discourse over yellowjackets ships is because them loving each other is the whole point. they love each other so much. they're probably all a little in love with each other because it's impossible to go through that without falling in love. and falling in hate. and falling in "i want to kill you because you make me feel crazy and i'm obsessed with you but i'm not sure in what way". guys it's the whole entire point.

being in love with your best friend is rough but have you ever been in a toxic homoerotic symbiotic relationship with the memory of your dead best friend who you indirectly killed after she found out that you slept with her boyfriend (and became pregnant with his child) in a desperate attempt to both become her and vicariously experience intimacy with her? because i haven't or anything but i feel like that would suck.

personally i think it's totally healthy for a gal to get hammered on her dead best friend's drink of choice while wearing her jacket/trademark eyeliner and hallucinate her and also have a mental breakdown in the streets screaming about how much she loved her before falling asleep holding the jacket because it's all she has left of her and it smells like her. yeah idk i think that's chill.

"i miss jackie" "i miss coach scott" I MISS THEIR BANGS. their big off-putting brown eyes are done a disservice without those shaggy little fringes. god i know they're in the woods or whatevs but knives exist cmon chop chop.

never getting over the fact that out of everything travis could have used to fuck with shauna he chose slumber party makeouts. and god was he dead on. also just the assumption that everyone on the team could read that homoerotic trainwreck like a book. what a diva.

i picture a perfect day. i wake up and open my front door. a neighbor looks up from watering her lawn and exclaims, “lottienat!”. i smile and nod warmly. as i progress down my driveway, the mailman drives by and shouts, “jackienat!”. i put my hands to my heart in contentment. i reach the marketplace, where the cashier remarks, “mistynat!”. i pat their shoulder and voice my agreement. as i exit, a biker yells, “travnat!” on his way by. i pump my fist in camaraderie. “we love natalie scatorccio” we all chant in unison.