I Can’t Do This

You never realise how shit you feel until you’re sat alone in the toilet at a bar.

I honestly have not idea how tonight I’m getting into bed instead of jumping in-front of a train.

I can’t get him out of my head.

I don’t think I can do this, my abandonment issues have taken over.

I think tonight may be a good night to end it.

I think it’s going to take everything I have not to kms tonight..

I think I just told someone I’m gonna kill my self tonight..

Okaaaay, the buzz has just hit me that this hell of living is nearly over.

It’s so strange being at a party, knowing I’m going to end my life afterwards but no one else knows.

I’m currently sat staring at all my clothes, realising if I go through with tonight I’m not going to wear any of them again.

Oh look, it must be self-destruction o’clock.

I’ve laid in bed for enough time now.

So, after my performances last weekend (which is what I was waiting for before going), I had quite a high which I rode for a while; but now that’s finished and I’ve dropped so hard.