#suicice

To everyone who walked away when my sadness became too much for them.

After years of convincing me to continue living to save themselves the pain of losing me..

And then they just fuck off out of my life.

Fuck all of you.

Do it. Go out fighting again. It always balances you out. You haven't done it in forever. The others probably miss having you actually there to fight anyway. So what if you take it too far? They knew what they were signing up for. And if you get hurt? You deserve it, and there's nobody left to care how broken or beaten you are anyway.

You know that's not true. There's plenty of people in your life that would notice how fucked up you were. Besides, the others know you shouldn't fight anymore. They won't let you. They promised you they wouldn't. Don't go hurting yourself.

Do it. Stop eating. Stop working out. Stop brushing your teeth. Let go and become the slob you want to be. The only person who ever wanted to see you look good is gone, so what does it matter?

You don't want that. I know you're depressed right now, but if you don't take care of yourself then you're not giving yourself a fighting chance. She wouldn't have wanted you to be like that anyway, and neither do you. You're a disciplined person who likes to be good and look good, just for you. Don't give up.

Do it. Hit things just because it hurts. Mark yourself up with cuts and burns and bruises. You can be such a pretty little piece of art, just for yourself. The pain feels good, doesn't it? Besides, what does it matter if you're hurt? It's nothing new. It's what you deserve.

I don't think you need a therapist or me to tell you how bad of an idea that it. Your body is already a tapestry of scars, stories that you're proud to tell. Do you really want to muddle it with marks given to yourself rather than earned in bravery or fun? Don't hurt yourself any more than you already have. You deserve better.

Do it. Give yourself to people online for no reason. Whore yourself out for strangers who don't give a fuck about you. Go looking for the worst kinks. It makes you feel good, right? Don't you love it when you get used?

Do not. You shouldn't feel like you do when you're done. It's why aftercare is so important. Getting used and not taken care of is only making your head worse. You need to be with people who will actually care, and you know it. You know what you want, and you need to stay strong until you find it.

Do it. End it all. There's nobody that'll care enough to miss you. Those who know you will be better off if they don't have to deal with all your bullshit anymore. You deserve it for everything you've done anyway. Just do everyone a favor and die already.