egg's blog of shame

I saw a lot of takes on a modern Akatsuki, and I really wanted to put out one of my own. I’ll admit I got a little distracted by this, but I hope everyone enjoys my take! I tried to think a little outside the box for this one lmao. Zetsu and Kakuzu are two of my favourite takes here. Kisame is essentially Terry Crews in B99 imo.

Kakuzu

Licensed Private Investigator. Former Police Sergeant. Mid-late 40s. Occasionally enlists security services when a job (rarely) requires it. He lives a modest life- is constantly saving and investing, but doesn’t deny himself small luxuries or excursions.

Was cut from the police force in his early 20s following a failed crime ring bust. Lost his pension and faced some pretty severe repercussions that left him very jaded and bitter towards most law enforcement. Found nuclear revenge through recording and uncovering corruption and abuse of power in his precinct- had his former chief and some fellow sergeants put away for a long time. It was beyond controversial, and to say most officers went out of their way to harass him after the fact would be an understatement.

Kakuzu very rarely offers his services in police cases- when he does it’s mainly regarding petty crimes, missed court appearances, or drug-trafficking charges, that are all typically evading police custody and arrest. He has always had a talent for finding people that don’t want to be found. He only offers his expertise if he trusts the officer/chief/sergeant requesting it, and they offer a great pay out. From time to time Konan asks for a discrete helping hand regarding her work, and he has never refused it. It pays well, and he respects the cause she’s working for. 

He has some pretty severe scars from the failure that was the crime ring operation. Other scars he carries from his childhood. He doesn’t talk about either experiences these days. Still, they remain an intimidating tribute to his days on the force and his greatest failure. A constant reminder to do better, and play smart.

His homelife is pretty boring- but he likes it that way. Some strong tea while he reads the news, or catches up with the very few friends he has, and he’s had a good day. He likes crossword puzzles, and dedicates some time to weight training in his home gym if he feels up to it. He takes it pretty easy when he has the chance to.

✨Edited still from my pinned gif✨

a g r e e m e n t

“idiot girl, you belong to me.”

kakuzu x reader | supernatural AU (barely) | 18+ eventually

you were desperate, alone, and so so tired. you’d heard … heard of making deals. with demons. they could give you anything you wanted, solve any problem, and all you had to give up was your soul in 10 years time. what you didn’t know was that your demon was no demon at all. his agreement was very different and involved more than just your mortal soul.

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