I cant deal with this man, this is now a solid headcannon of mine, it just explains too much.
We’ve seen it with Bee’s T-cog, we’ve seen it with the Scraplet episode, Optimus even called him out that time but Ratchet just brushed it off. We’ve heard him say it multiple times, Ratchet just simply does not believe he does enough. He believes he is not worth nearly as much as any of the others, and it breaks my heart.
He often says or imply’s things like, “I am no soldier, I’m just a medic.” or, “They need it more than I do. This shouldn’t be wasted on me.” And its AWFUL!!
It make so much sense, and it matches up so well with his character and his behavior that I’m questioning what about makes it seem so not cannon. I mean, we saw presumably his Energon levels on the screen thing he had, maybe this is more than just a fan theory?
It would explain nearly everything about his character. Like @adhesivesandscrap said, Ratchet moves slowly, and carefully, he’s always grumpy and irritable. Those are likely behaviors that someone purposely starving themselves would experience. He’s probably sore and tired and I bet everything aches. Can you really blame him for his attitude if he constantly feels like this?
And you know what? I bet you Ratchet 100% knows, more than anybody actually, how bad this is for him physically and mentally. That’s why he hides it from everyone. He knows this is destroying him, but he still believes that this is good, that he is protecting his team this way and the only one getting hurt is him, so it doesn’t. matter.
I kept trying to think of ways that the others could’ve found out about this, and although it doesn’t seem likely, I considered this.
Imagine the Autobots keep a log of their Energon supply. How much Energon they have is counted and logged, and whenever someone takes some they punch into the computer what time they took some and exactly how much they took. This way, they always know how much they have and how much everyone is taking without having to go to the back room and count or having to do checkups all the time. All the Autobots, including Ratchet use this system.
Normally Ratchet is the one manning the log and there isn’t really a reason for anyone else to check them. But what if, for one reason or another, Optimus checked them.
Now I don’t know how often Transformers need to refill their Energon, but lets pretend every like.. I don’t know, every 7-9 Earth days or so depending on the bot, would need another full refill because they’re getting a bit low right? So Optimus could’ve checked the log, without Ratchet’s knowledge, and discovered that the last time Ratchet took some Energon was about two weeks ago, and it was barley a drop.
A pit probably formed in Optimus’s tanks when he saw that, Ratchet is very punctual, he is a perfectionist after all. So there’s no way Ratchet could’ve.. well maybe he just forgot to log in that one time.. right?
But then Optimus could piece it together. Ratchet’s slow movements, his constantly irritated state, his refusal to talk about his Energon levels or current physical state, simply brushing it off with a cold, “I’m fine.” It would explain too much. And Ratchet would do that, he would absolutely starve himself if it meant more security for his team.
What would Optimus even do? Would he confront him? Or would he leave it knowing that Ratchet’s mind couldn’t be changed? If he did confront Ratchet, what would Ratchet do? What would he say?
Would he lie? And say he had no idea? Or that it was just a one time thing? Or that he forgot? Or would he just admit to it because he trusts Optimus? Would he say, “I know this is hurting me, but you must understand Optimus, I need to do this. The others need me to do this. Its not fair to them if I take more than I need.” I don’t know how likely this is, but if Optimus was like, ‘no, this isn’t cool man, you need to take more Energon, that’s an order.’, would Ratchet do as ordered? Or would he refuse to listen?
Ratchet has the utmost respect for Optimus, that much is very clear. So would he really listen if Optimus told him to take more? Maybe he would fight it by saying, “Don’t make me take it! The others need it more than I. I can function just fine like this, why would I take more? I’d just waste it! W-What if one of them returns to base bleeding out? And we don’t have enough Energon?? I cant let that be my fault!” He wouldn’t be angry, at Optimus or himself, he would be scared. Not being able to bear the grief and guilt of loosing another team mate and having it be his fault.
Or maybe even!– Something I haven’t even considered is if Ratchet doesn’t know how bad it is for him. Maybe he’s lied to himself for so long saying that he doesn’t need a full tank of Energon that he’s begun to believe it himself!
Ratchet could be 100% convinced that what he’s doing is very good, so he doesn’t even recognize it as a problem or the reason why he feels so awful all the time. I like to consider myself a rather rational person, but I have so been there and done that. I used to do things that were destroying my mental health and believed that it was okay and healthy. I mean, I’m still doing those things but at least I know its bad now- MY POINT IS, Ratchet could probably believe that what he’s doing is completely rational and okay. It’s protecting his team so its automatically is a good thing right?
And all of this aside, Ratchet being aware of how bad this is for him or not, just take a second to imagine how bad Optimus would feel if he found out about this.
To find out that his dear friend has resorted to self inflicted starvation to protect and provide Energon for his team mates. How long has Ratchet been doing this? How long has his old friend been suffering like this? How much pain is he really in because of this? What other bots are suffering in complete silence? If he couldn’t see this pain and self destruction in one of his closest and oldest friends, then whats to say the others aren’t suffering as well? Ratchet doesn’t have to do that, but he does anyway. And can Optimus really deny that it isn’t helping? He could say its not worth it, but its helping isn’t it?
He’d probably be so conflicted and upset. Ratchet would probably tell him its okay that he’s not worth the worry.
Ratchet would justify his voluntary starvation by saying, “I’m put to best use here, at the base. This is where I am needed. I don’t move much at all, and I don’t fight. And when I do, its few and far in between, and normally its not for very long at all. I simply do not need the extra Energon. The others need it so much more than I. I can survive on the bare minimum, they cannot.”
And despite how bad it sounds, Ratchet is right. He doesn’t need to have a full tank 100% of the time because he isn’t a fighter. But Ratchet is still a big bot, he’s much larger than the others and most certainly requires more than he’s taking.. but he’s not a fighter. he’s just a medic. He technically doesn’t absolutely have to have the extra Energon, but this all exposes just how lowly Ratchet thinks of himself none the less. And it just- I- it makes me- it makes me wanna-
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