welcome to my tumblr. i'm a genderfluid, transmasculine, disabled jack of all trades. i usually just post my art, but i also do some reblogging on the side. for more info about me, check out my website!
have you been sent a really weird message about me? chances are, i can explain why.
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I feel like one of the conversational skill failures it’s really easy to fall into is assigning the other person an opinion, rather than asking what their opinion is. This kind of inherently puts them on the back foot, which is uncomfortable, so people don’t like it.
Starting a conversation by informing the other person that you KNOW their feelings, and you are acting based on the feelings you assume they have, without giving them a chance to tell you what feelings they ACTUALLY have… No one likes this!
You may have learned it from your parents doing it to you, in which case I can only imagine you didn’t like it either, but you still internalized it as an acceptable mode of communication because we are always internalizing stuff from our parents even though we don’t like it. It’s kind of a quintessential passive-aggressive parent move: “well, you never want to help me, you don’t appreciate everything I do for you” etc. It puts the addressee in the position of defending themselves and their actual feelings instead of inviting them to SHARE those feelings.
People generally find it easier and more pleasant to converse with you if you go into it with an attitude of curiosity rather than what is essentially a power-play. Assigning your interlocutor an opinion based on your assumptions about their internal experience expresses an unconscious sense that you believe you are and should remain in control of the conversation. But friendly conversations aren’t really supposed to be about control.
something it took me so. fucking. many. years. to learn. is that being terrified of someone else having the upperhand in an interaction was causing me to preemptively "defensively" try to take the upper hand before the other person could. the reasons for this are sympathetic and I think it is a really common thing to do. but omg my interactions with people have gotten so much less unpleasant since I started trying to internalize that no one needs to have the upper hand in an interaction
i was letting my past experiences of being treated poorly in this specific way influence my own behavior such that *I* was the one bringing the idea of "someone having the upper hand" to the interaction to begin with!!! it was miserable.
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they are estrogen and testosterone. they are estrogenizing and androgenizing hrt. stop fucking calling them transfem and transmasc hrt. stop fucking calling them mtf and ftm hrt. stop fucking calling them feminizing and masculinizing hrt. stop going out of your way to exclude non-binary and intersex people.
"When people have or show any kind of sexual response, it gives sexual partners big cues about what feels good to that person. When we’re responding in a way that’s for real, that’s great, because paired with verbal communication about what feels good, it helps our partners learn what we like. Only responding in ways that are real is a big part of the difference between a good sex life and a crappy one.
When people fake orgasm or other sexual responses, it still gives partners those cues. It just gives them wrong cues. It tells partners you respond to something in a way that you don’t, like something to a degree that’s not real, and if they don’t know you’re faking, and you also don’t talk about what’s really going on, they’re going to tend to keep doing whatever brought about those responses because they, since you have effectively told them so or shown them so, think those are the right things to be doing to please you.
In order for your sex life to get better, and in order for you two to actually really get and be intimate sexually, he needs to know that the information you have been giving him has been wrong information. He needs for you to start giving him accurate information about what goes on with you sexually."
We're absolutely not keeping these in the tags @strollsroyce, this has been once of the hardest and most relieving/validating parts of unlearning the defensive posturing of trauma. Learning that my negative and positive reactions need to align with my desired outcomes in order to communicate and negotiate space for myself safely and effectively in relationships
Hey. If people aren't aware, Microsoft admitted they know who you and where you are at all times and will give your info to the police.
They have a Global Device Identifier (GDID) Tracker that functions as a fingerprint for your PC that can surpass VPNs, proxy servers and countries. Although it can't survive a clean reinstall of Windows (it can survive updates), because Microsoft forces you to go to the internet and log in into a Microsoft account, they will be able to get to you.
Microsoft kept it secret and it was only found out when the FBI tracked a hacker thanks to the information Microsoft gave them.
You should be paying attention to this, and possibly consider moving away from Windows. If a government, especially the US government, doesn't like you for some reason, this could be seriously concerning.
This article specifically notes:
For journalism, activism, or domestic abuse situations, skip Windows and use Linux routed through Tor instead of a commercial VPN. A GDID doesn’t care which VPN you use, only that it’s still the same Windows installation.
GDID is the persistent Windows ID that helped FBI trace a Scattered Spider hacker despite VPNs. Here's how it works and how to limit it.
Other important quotes:
What has researchers uneasy is everything else the case reveals. Costin Raiu, a well-known malware researcher, asked on the Three Buddy Problem podcast how much of this exists on other platforms, and whether it is linked more permanently to hardware. Matthew Hickey, another security researcher, called Windows “surveillance software”.
Two things back that up:
There’s no consent screen. A GDID gets assigned when you sign into a Microsoft Account. Apple’s advertising identifier needs an App Tracking Transparency prompt and a visible reset; Android’s works the same way. GDID has neither, and a Windows reinstall only gets you a new number Microsoft can still get back to the same account.
Then there’s activation. Massgrave, the group behind Microsoft Activation Scripts, notes that Windows setup sends hardware info to Microsoft and gets identifiers back, the same tokens later used for Store access and licensing: “It’s impossible to prevent Windows from getting a GDID without breaking activation and UWP app[s].” Anyone who lost a license after swapping a motherboard has already met a smaller version of this.
Here's the complaint filed to the court, the primary source for the case mentioned in the article. You can find mentions of GDID on page 30 of the document or 34 of the PDF.
You can get and use windows 11 without logging in with a microsoft account, as of five days ago. I am a local user on my computer. Don't ask me how to do it, because my computer repair guy did it when he reinstalled windows, but there are tutorials out there. Refuse to connect to internet until you're set up and can use the computer freely.
Refusing to connect to the internet doesn't help. You have to open a Command Prompt (Shift+F10) and typing start ms-cxh:localonly (and pressing enter) during installation when you get to the sign in/create stupid ms account screen
For comprehensive deets, tomshardware explains
Maintain only a local account on your Windows 11 PC.
Unless there's really really specific reasons to subject yourself to windows, please consider installing linux mint instead.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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when i was really obsessed with noise i started to drink alcohol just to feel closer to him ??? idk
then it got really bad and i started drinkin vodka everyday LOL
anyways i think thats an amazing story, im better and medicated now
xoxo i love how u draw him
I think trans women should be allowed to win competitions without being used as proof that trans women are “dominating” women’s sports and I think trans men should be allowed to have big roles in media without being used as proof that trans men benefit from male privilege. I think trans people should be allowed to succeed in life without being used as a way to claim that cis women are inherently the most disadvantaged, when usually those trans people fought just as hard (if not harder) to get where they are than their cisgendered peers. I don’t like how trans people have to fail in order to convince two-bit feminists not to attack us for a privilege that we don’t have.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Junior, we can't both exist. I'm going to become half of you. And I need you to know that every moment you hate being yourself, that's me, hating you and hating being you. Because you're going to be something extraordinary. Or, either way... You're going to be a fucking loser just like me.