Horses & Other Things that make me smile

I had therapy this afternoon and while I felt like we were really getting into some stuff during the meeting, now I'm thinking back on it and not sure I remember what action I should try to take. Maybe I will ask if we can make clear goals/homework/whatever a more prominent part of our meeting wrap up. idk.

I worked out today even though I didn't want to because I want my body to be strong when I'm old. That's truly my main motivator for working out at this point. I want to be able to do things when I'm old.

I want to go out and see him this weekend to see how he's doing, but a part of me is terrified of going out there and running into honestly anyone else. It's sad that this happened, and I don't want to talk about how sad it is or how fragile horses are. I especially don't want to see her owner because I don't even know what I would say. I texted her that I was sorry and thinking of her.

I just want to make sure Nav is ok. But the thought of going there is very scary to me. I also think some of this is related to my OCD which is very attached to responsibility. For example, what if it was Nav that caused the accident that made this happen? But I know there is no way to know that and things can happen, that's the risk of letting horses live a life turned out with others. But it is still hard not to think well if I hadn't brought Nav here then maybe this wouldn't have happened.