Does anyone else get those random rushes of motivation like, “I’m gonna be so fucking successful dammit, watch me”

Oh u love ur mom? Name 3 of her albums

1) I swear to fucking god I have to do everything in this house 2) No it’s okay I’ll do it myself 3) If I have to ask you one more time I’m gonna lose it

L is for the way you look at me

O is for the only one I see

V is very very extraordinary

Egg

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink..

the amount of people saying that they were expecting me to shove it up my ass is alarming

do you ever use a pen and you’re just blown away by how smoothly it glides across the page and how the ink flows out so beautifully like tears of jesus or something

Some people must experience the world in a more exciting way than I do

when you drink the water and the tummy go sploosh sploosh

The fact that 246,720 ppl know what this is

it’s almost like everyone drinks water or something