I'm a Black Rainbow

my 2 brain cells

It’s officially “once I get home I ain’t coming back out” season.

It’s always been “once I get home I ain’t coming back out” season

update: I banged him

Good timeline 👏

name a more iconic duo than me and intimacy issues….. I’ll wait

ΑΧΑΧΑΧΑΧΑΧΑΧΑΧΑ

do you ever use a pen and you’re just blown away by how smoothly it glides across the page and how the ink flows out so beautifully like tears of jesus or something

Some people must experience the world in a more exciting way than I do

Oh I’m a slut for good pen

Reblog to actually save a life

Reblogging, because this is so important. When I was learning how to cook for myself in my tweens, I had at least a five years of fire safety seminars from school drilling this into my head, and I STILL had that instinctive put-the-fire-out-with-water reflex. Didn’t even think. I saw our oily burner catch fire after frying eggs, whipped around towards the sink for water, and my brain immediately screamed NO!!! NO WATER! I mean that fire safety stuff straight up bitchslapped me out of REFLEXIVELY setting my house on fire. I found a pot lid and inched it over the burner before turning off the heat. Even if you think you know this stuff, panic is powerful shit. Make knowledge more powerful.

SLAPPING ASSES ACROSS THE UNITED STATES

I used to live in Carmel, Indiana, and my driver’s ed teacher told me he liked to dress up as a fisherman on the weekend, and sit on an empty bench near these with his rod and tackle box, and hold perfectly still. He liked scaring people when they came up to take a picture of the “new statue”.

Your driver’s ed teacher was an entrepreneur and I think this should be how we take down Carmel, Indiana. We descend upon the town en masse as a plague of living statues.

how am i simultaneously too much and also not enough