all about me.

no offense but squidward saying “nobody cares about the fate of labor as long as they can get their instant gratification” is more woke than anything wendy’s twitter or any liberal has ever said

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS

FOREVER REBLOG

I snorted so hard I was not expecting that

not to be racist but i can’t tell customers apart

The truth hurts so much, but it cannot be denied - 2 minutes after you leave my line of sight, I have no idea who you are, you’re just another arm I’ve stabbed with a needle

god I hope you work in the medical field

I don’t know about you, but I needed this purity in my life and on my timeline.

I can’t actually even process how bad this is. I logged of for the 17th and came back to find out 6 porn bots had followed me while I was logged out

IT’S BACK

MOOD

Reblog to actually save a life

Reblogging, because this is so important. When I was learning how to cook for myself in my tweens, I had at least a five years of fire safety seminars from school drilling this into my head, and I STILL had that instinctive put-the-fire-out-with-water reflex. Didn’t even think. I saw our oily burner catch fire after frying eggs, whipped around towards the sink for water, and my brain immediately screamed NO!!! NO WATER! I mean that fire safety stuff straight up bitchslapped me out of REFLEXIVELY setting my house on fire. I found a pot lid and inched it over the burner before turning off the heat. Even if you think you know this stuff, panic is powerful shit. Make knowledge more powerful.

“Even if you think you know this stuff, panic is powerful shit. Make knowledge more powerful.”

because squishing that much biscuit into that little space teeters on the edge of hubris. the pop is to keep us humble. to remind us that death comes for all

What the fuck kinda biscuits do you have

These are so terrifying

y’all know how long it took me to realize this says “Pumpkin Pie”???

Same