Oh no that kid might move here when they’re older, offsetting our low birth rate and paying taxes, oh no.

Immigrants almost always make a place more interesting so I just shrimply do not give a fuck

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

It is imperative that the customer remain unaware that employees drink water, it frightens and scares them to think of an employee as having human needs

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

It wandered across mine. I shall help it travel forward.

this is not a place of honor

Oh hey post of Ozymandius, good to see you again standing on your feet in a desert where no one remembers you

You really weren't lying

pride month is almost over I would just like to say happy pride to boring LGBTQ people in particular. everyone expects us to be brilliant creatives and scientists and interior decorators and quirky professors and tortured artists but some of us wear nothing but Kirkland Signature clothing and watch Friends and The Office and are incapable of having an interesting conversation and that is okay. our diversity is our strength.

Trying to escape military service like: "Poison Seller, I require your weakest poisons."

it's actually so amazing she helped save the lives of the honorable men who did not wish to fight, while killing the most vile men, that is so fucking based