The Daredeviled Eggs Burger

Tina: “This is where I thrash.”

Linda: “I was going to punch you, but I was holding wine.”

Bob: “I’ve done interviews before.” Linda: “When?” Bob: “In the bathtub. I do both parts.” Linda: “How do they go?” Bob: “Some go well. I walked out of one.”

Josh: “I’m sorry, you are...?” Jimmy Jr: “Better than you.”

Louise: “Almost dying is the best part of living. It’s called almost live-dying.”

Gene: “Keep things light. Don’t mention your divorce. Or Nixon. Or Radiohead.” 

Louise: (long sniff) “I smell fear on you.”

Mr. Fischoeder: “Look at him, Bob! We can’t send him to jail! He’d hate it there!” 

Tina: “If you need me, I’ll be down here on the floor, dying.” 

Bob: “What are you kids doing?” Louise: “What knife?” Bob: “What do you mean, ‘What knife?’”

Tina: “You saved us, Gene. I owe you my life.” Gene: “No, thanks. I’ve seen it, and I’m not impressed.” 

Bob: “Wow, the red pairs nicely with the white.” 

Tina: “Brr. It sure is cold in here. I wish some strong, chivalrous man would lend me his jacket. Or pants.”

Bob: “Well, did you get my messages about the bathroom... That I left you... For the last several months?” Fischoeder: “Yes, I got them. How the hell did you get my number?” Bob: “You gave it to me... When we met.” Fischoeder: “Not to use!” 

Gene: “But your characters don’t even end up together!” Tina: “We’re all allowed to interpret the movie differently.” 

Sasha: “Honey, if I was hitting on you, you’d know, because you’d be terrified.” Tina: “Trust me. You were hitting on me.”