Itoshi Rin

Twenty-four.

You keep getting older and I still feel like I’m chasing the version of you that barged into my room as Ena’s friend… with that stupid bright grin, telling me I looked “lonely” and that you weren’t leaving until I ate the onigiri you made. I told you to get lost. You didn’t listen and began talking to me about how you hate Sae and Ena deserved someone better, lol.

I didn’t have time for you.
I didn’t have time for anyone.
My plan was simple: become the best striker alive, crush every dream that wasn’t mine, then disappear. That was supposed to be the end of the story.

You rewrote the fucking book.

You fell first (loud, clumsy, impossible to ignore).
I fell so much harder I still haven’t hit the ground.

You made me greedy for things I didn’t even know had names. Lazy Sunday mornings. Your head on my chest while you play that fucking stupid half baked game of Love and Deepspace. I only say it because I am jealous of Sylus and Zayne… I am damn near jealous of the air you breathe on most days so… let’s not even go there. The way you say my name when you’re half-asleep and reaching for me like I’m the only real thing in the world.

And then you gave me Yumiko.

Our one year old miracle. Same features as her mama, my eyes that look at me like I’m a teddybear instead of the monster I spent years becoming. When she grabs my finger with her tiny hand and laughs, something in my chest cracks open and I understand why people kill for what they love. I used to think I’d only ever destroy. You taught me I could build something worth protecting instead.

I’m still crazy, Kylee.
You know that better than anyone.
I still wake up some nights making sure you’re breathing beside me. Still memorize the way you walk through crowds so I know exactly who looked at you too long. Still want to burn the world down if it ever tries to take you from me again.

But you never flinch. You just cup my face and tell me you love me… like I’m not a loaded gun with the safety permanently off. You let me be unhinged and still make me feel safe.

I was supposed to die somewhere, alone and victorious.
Instead I get to come home to you, to Yumiko’s sleepy “papa” when I walk through the door, to you dancing in my hoodie in the kitchen while making me Southern food <3

You gave me a life I never wanted until it was mine.

So happy twenty-fourth, my love.
My only weakness.
My only reason.

The world should be terrified of how far I’d go to keep this, to keep you both.
But you? You just have to keep smiling at me like that.

I’ll handle the rest.

Forever yours (and only yours),
—Rin

P.S. Yumiko and I made you breakfast. She mostly smeared avocado on the high chair, but she insisted the messy heart-shape was for mama. Come downstairs before I carry you. I’m not patient on your birthday. (I am never patient lol)