Big, Beefy, Hairy, Smooth

I had my surgery and… oh my gosh. I knew intellectually that it would help my mental health, I wasn’t prepared for how much how quickly. Life is… so much better now. I love the mirror now. Something I used to think would be impossible.

Don’t worry. I still have every intention of getting bigger and beefier. I just have to wait until I’m cleared to do heavy weights again.

Quick run down for the curious!

What did I have done?: Genital Nullification

Whuh? : My euphoric body doesn’t have penis or vagina, but a smooth Ken doll style bulge. This makes me a “nullo.” I had the surgery to make it so, and I am the happiest I’ve ever been.

Ok but why?: Non-binary people (which technically this makes me?) get dysphoria too, and euphoria. I saw how to live in my real body, I saw the oncoming threat of that opportunity being stripped from me, and I moved with urgency.

Aren’t you scared of regretting it: That would have happened by now if it was going to.

Ok… this is intrusive but-: Understood! The FAQs!

-The nerves are preserved. I can still feel pleasure and still cum. But it’s prostatic fluid only, no sperm.

-The balls are gone, so I get my testosterone from a bottle now. (Oh no… manual control of my T for the rest of my life. It will never randomly go down or spike again. How awful.)

-The urethra is redirected between my legs. I sit to pee now. Thank goodness. Random stream weirdness meant I missed the urinal sometimes with a penis to aim. Imagine the mess doing it just with my hips! This is better for everyone.

-The prostate is untouched, I will still be bottoming happily to my last days.

-The pelvic floor is an important bit of the core muscles and will take 6 months to fully heal. If I try lifting or gaining before then, I risk things popping. No thank you.

-I don’t know what my fat pad will look like, but I look forward to discovering with you all!

-For a view of the nullge, see the mature post on my feed. That was taken 147 days post surgery, after everything was fully healed. The pic below was when there was still some swelling and healing to go.

-The bump is post surgery swelling. That’s why it’s so high up. That’ll go down and I’ll be an action figure down there in about a month.

Ehhhhhh…

Not so much. The guy I was living with decided he was entitled to my body.

So I had to flee, and he kept harassing me. So I had to go all the way back to England to be safe. Then he started doxxing me, did some revenge porn, started hurting the people who helped me run away, and destroyed some of my stuff to try and get me to come back. I ended up having to get a restraining order on him, which he immediately violated, and now I have to take him to court AGAIN.

Honestly, you’ve not missed anything fun. But I’m still here.

Awesome! Starting the year with my weight, squat, deadlift, and bench press all at 150kg/330lb

Strength is not stored in the balls.

Power is not stored in the dick.

Thank you so much! It’s been incredible to be in my real body.

If it’s only gay when the balls touch.

1) In the USA. There are a number of trans clinics in the USA that will do this and I know of one in Mexico and one in Thailand as well.

2) Sort of? I got physical pleasure from orgasm, sure, but my penis never felt like part of me. It felt like the alien thing that was attached to me, like an unwanted mole on my face. And worse, people would reduce me to it, and completely ignore the words I say or the feelings I have in their pursuit of this thing that isn’t me.

I hated that. But I couldn’t put into words why into the day I tried tucking and taping and seeing what I would look like smooth like I’d always fantasised about. When I looked down and saw it, my body finally felt right for the very first time. I couldn’t stop smiling. Every time I touched it or looked down or saw a glimpse of it in the mirror, even just the way standing or sitting felt, I’d burst into a huge grin. It felt like breathing for the first time. It felt like me. Actually me. For the first time I could actually be in *my* body. After feeling that, going back to having a dick felt… wrong. Like why would I go back underwater for a second longer than I needed to now that I’ve tasted fresh air?

3) I fully acknowledge that I will not be everyone’s cup of tea. But I already came out as gay, drastically reducing my place in the social structure to pursue my own happiness. I already came out as kinky, reducing my place further in order to pursue happiness. What’s one more time if it means I get to spend the rest of my life breathing fresh air and not drowning?

Besides. You’d be surprised how open minded people will be when you’re up front about why you’re so happy. They’ll understand that it’s a joyous thing, and they’ll have a billion questions, but they’ll only be actively turned off if they have surgery phobias or if they struggle when they’re expecting to see something and it’s not there. Everyone else seems willing to at least explore and try it out.

Me: I have literally never been happier in my body than now I’m a nullo and I’ve embraced the muscle bear life.

Also me: But fuck me do I miss my hair…

😁

It’s ya smoothie just before his post-workout smoothie! 😁

Guess who gets to go back to the gym! 😁

True answer? I like the Big And Beefy look. The idea of growing as huge as I can, muscle and fat, and looking like a huge powerful beast.

I want to be able to carry a feeder on one shoulder and walk as if I was just wearing a backpack.

I want to be able to hold gainers, bodybuilders and powerlifters and make them feel small and safe and held and protected.

I want to keep doing my trick with doctors where I tell them my weight and they look aghast because there’s no way that 325lb looks like this. Where’s the third chin? What, are you just made of lead or something?

I want to keep doing my trick where I waddle into the gym, shoving my belly out in my spandex, drag myself to the pull up bar… and effortlessly crank out a set of 8 unaided and land gracefully, and watch everyone’s jaws hit the floor like they’ve just witnessed the impossible.

I want to blow people’s minds with how big I am and what I can do. I want to give the best hugs you’ve ever had. I want to be the sort of person you hide behind. I want to be undeniable. I want to be soft and gentle and powerful all at once.

Beef and bellies part I don’t even remember anymore!

I love the jiggle and peek.

Keeping it to the SFW crop for tumblr, but… you’re seriously telling me none of you Bulls and Beefy Boys make noises like this?