The Sapp Family Blog

Pregnancy is so amazing!

My (insert body part) hurts…

I have to pee.

Baby starts kicking: OMG! Keep kicking, little one!

Baby kicks cervix: You little brat, stop kicking my vagina!

During the day: My goodness, I can barely keep my eyes open…

Middle of the night: Holy shit, I’m so fucking tired, why can’t I sleep?!

I have to pee.

I’m hungry.

If I eat anything, I’ll vomit.

Someone needs to make me a peanut butter and pickle sandwich NOW.

I’m either going to be an emotional wreck or on a war path.

Why am I leaking..?

I need to clean EVERYTHING.

I’m not doing shit today.

Me: *all the way across the room* I can smell your nasty chips from over here

Pregnancy is so amazing!

My (insert body part) hurts…

I have to pee.

Baby starts kicking: OMG! Keep kicking, little one!

Baby kicks cervix: You little brat, stop kicking my vagina!

During the day: My goodness, I can barely keep my eyes open…

Middle of the night: Holy shit, I’m so fucking tired, why can’t I sleep?!

I have to pee.

I’m hungry.

If I eat anything, I’ll vomit.

Someone needs to make me a peanut butter and pickle sandwich NOW.

I’m either going to be an emotional wreck or on a war path.

Why am I leaking..?

I need to clean EVERYTHING.

I’m not doing shit today.

(nothing will be held back. I warn you now. Also not everyone experiences all or maybe even any of this blah blah blah)

- You may not have a period for 9 months but there is always something coming out of you. Leukorrhea (it’s basically just white discharge). Constantly. They say it comes and goes but it doesn’t. It’s always there. Every. Single. Day. And quite often there’s enough of it that you wished you wore a liner.

- You pee literally every 20 minutes. Literally. Even if you haven’t drank anything since you last peed.

- But on the flip side you only go to the loo for ‘other reasons’ once every few days.

- Pregnancy dreams are more strange than you could ever, ever imagine.

- When you sneeze you pee a little bit.

-  You know that one really annoying thick, black hair that appears once every blue moon on your chin that you have to pluck out? Yeah, you get about 20 of those and they just seem to keep getting worse.

- Trying to shave from the waist down is an ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE.

- Never underestimate just how horrific morning sickness is. It doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

- Ligament pain is a thing. It feels like your abdomen is on a medieval torture stretching rack.

- When your unborn baby kicks you in the cervix it is pain like you have never felt before.

- Staying awake through the day becomes a true battle. Which you will never win.

- You can’t sleep how you want to sleep anymore. The baby tells you which side you want to sleep on and when you want to move. The choice is no longer yours.

- You never stop thinking about the fact you are pregnant. Ever. No matter what you do, the fact that there is a miniature human in your actual belly never leaves your mind.