🦕Luca's Life🦖

I have gone back and deleted a lot of old posts, there is probably more to delete yet but I’ve made a start as I realise maybe I shared too much of my son publicly online as a naive teen parent.

I can’t say I’ll probably be updating this blog again but I am still grateful for this little online space that got me through those early years and the wonderful people I met along the way.

Just a bit of an update. I’m currently on placement for my degree and I’m loving it. It’s exhausting doing the equivalent of an unpaid full time job but so worth it and I feel like I’ve learnt more in these past 5 weeks than I did over a few months at uni. I also passed all my exams for this year so a massive weight is off my shoulders.

Luca is at school nursery as well as day nursery and he’s doing so well. I’m amazed daily with how bright and caring her is and sometimes can’t believe I managed to raise such an amazing, well adjusted little boy. His dad has came back into his life with a new sibling so there’s been a bit of adjustment and some upset but he seems to be taking okay to it now. I can’t believe he’ll soon be in full time school. Feels like they’re only babies for 5 minutes.

Life’s been a whirlwind recently and I’ve been so terrible at keeping this blog updated. So here goes:

My access course is going wonderfully. I got merits in my first assignment but since then I’ve been consistently achieving distinctions in all my assignments and units. I already have what I need for midwifery so it takes the pressure off abit. I’ve also made a wonderful group of friends that I hope to be lifelong friends

I did not get into midwifery this year. The interview was a nightmare for me and I totally screwed up the last two questions. I didn’t get rejected right away which is a slight comfort but was instead floating in the gathered field until someone they interviewed scored better than me and bumped me out.

Instead, I am embarking on starting a foundation degree in social care which requires 150 hours of placement(of which I’m hoping to get in as a health care assistant on maternity). I will try again for midwifery as soon as ucas opens and with a lot of luck, hopefully I’ll have an unconditional offer for midwifery 2020. I just can’t give up on it now. I have 2 more try’s to get in and I know I’ll be devastated if I don’t make it happen.

I have applied for a midwifery taster day as a precursor to getting a midwifery placement. Fingers crossed I get in for that as it would be great to get some proper midwifery experience.

I have moved out of my mother’s home and into my own. It’s been stressful. I had to switch onto universal credit also which has just been a nightmare from start to finish and I’m on less money than I was living at home so that’s been helpful with all the added bills I now have🙄 The house is getting there. I still have a lot more decorating and furniture to get but Luca’s bedroom is finished and the kitchen and living room are nearly too which are the main things. My bedroom and the spare can wait.

Luca’s come on amazingly with his speech over the last few months. I think nursery has helped massively with his development and soon he’ll be starting school nursery. Can’t believe my baby is nearly 3.

Spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched!!!

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Life’s been a bit shit, a bit great and very hectic lately. I broke up with my LDR boyfriend over a month ago. We’ve had some trouble for a while with him being borderline abusive when we’re apart and him refusing to ever visit me. I was always travelling to him and I couldn’t bring Luca with me as his tiny flat wasn’t fit for a toddler. We spent 3 days at his mums and after that visit he got really weird with me and it transpired his mother was discouraging our relationship. I’d had enough of the man child that didn’t know what he wanted and decided to end things before we were further down the line and Luca was attached to him.

The bad thing I mentioned a few weeks ago was me putting glitter into his football shirt that he asked me to mail back to him. I feel bad about it now but I was in such a petty mood and didn’t want to actually damage the shirt, just piss him off with craft herpes. He kept messaging me and in the end I had to tell him I was seeing someone else to get him to stop and he blocked me on everything after that😂

Now onto the good. I actually am seeing someone new. He’s a father, is local and he is so genuinely sweet. The first time we met he brought me flowers and I’ve never ever had that before. He’s what I really need and I’m so glad he’s in my life. It’s so great that he has a child a similar age to Luca as he actually understands what it’s like to be a parent and that our children always come first. I haven’t felt this good in such a long time.

To the good but also hectic. I started my access course last week. I’m enjoying actually doing something outside of being a parent and Luca is doing great with nursery. I’m just massively stressing about volunteering and personal statements. I’ve made a few friends on my course, one of them is also going for midwifery. I’m fairly certain I’m the youngest on my course though but at least I look older than 20.

Luca turned 2 on the 25th. I’ll put some pics up soon. He’s so amazing. His talking has come along a lot. I still feel he’s a bit behind but I can tell he’s getting there he’s just stubborn at repeating words once he’s learned them. He loves going to nursery 2 and a half days a week. It’s a struggle to try and get him to leave. I was so nervous he would get upset about being left with strangers but he didn’t even cry once. The nursery also fill out a little form to tell you about his day like what he ate, activities he has done, etc. It’s really cute.