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Maybe i could have phrased that better but still, every saphic i see wants to see all men ripped limb from limb why can't we all get along?

Were you born yesterday

I love you, Raptor Jesus!

It’s crazy how she evolved the perfect camouflage for her natural environment

Traffic enforcement in the US primarily serves two functions: To generate convenient legal pretexts covering otherwise unconstitutional police actions, and to extort money from citizens. Public safety is a distant tertiary consideration which rarely plays any real part in decision-making. Anyone who lists traffic enforcement as an example of an "actually useful/helpful" cop job is a naive little child who willfully chooses to believe in comforting fictions.

What a fucking legend

I need a blowjob but I don’t have a penis or a strap on and I’m not taking off my pants so you’re just gonna have to figure it out

They don’t call it a blowjob because it’s easy. Get to work.

theres ALWAYS a relevant XKCD for everything huh

He wasn’t actually saying she would go to the moon, he was just using space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife.

Seasonal allergies are literally our bodies reacting to plant sex. We are covered in plant jizz and it makes us feel bad.

Slenderman is a tall good boy and there’s nothing wrong with tormenting and killing amateur filmmakers

What did amateur filmmakers ever do to you

I live in New York City

Are professional filmmakers any less annoying? Maybe Slenderman should get out of his comfort zone and start going after Hollywood.

RPG where the player character has preset male and female options but the female option is fully clothed, tall, and stern as hell, and the male option is petite, wide-eyed, and clad in booty shorts.

Living that white boy dream.

It’s shameless how they flirt.

That is some mighty fine lawyering right there. They show this clip in lawyering skills classes.