The Act of Breathing

Walks with these two 👣 (at Aberfeldie Athletics Track)

Always decorating #interiordesign #inspiration #interior #interiordecor #flowers #cookbook

Walks with Grandad and Murphy #walkies (at Mornington Beach)

Banana flour pancakes were breakfast today #eattorecover #healthy #health #healthyliving #healthyfood #healthyeating #balanceddiet #eattherainbow

Pumpkin pasta sauce = yummy #eattorecover #eatforhealth #eattherainbow #healthy #healthyeating #healthyliving #healthyfood #balanceddiet

Breakfast at 4pm #eattorecover #healthy #healthyfood #balanceddiet

21 and I still sleep with my teddy bear #bigbear #bedroom #interior #interiordesign #home

I love you little sister and thank-you.

Study has taken over my life. #firstexamtomorrow #argh

It's Murphy time #myonetruelove

Getting my life sorted out at the course advisors office #leukaemiayoumessedmywholecourseup

Today I drove my car for the first time by myself post transplant #yayforme #achievements #recovery

You get a cold, you stay in bed. I get a cold, I go to hospital. #bonemarrowtransplant #day49 #leukaemia #cancer

Before I was diagnosed with leukaemia I didn’t know much about it. I thought that you had chemotherapy that would make you vomit and that you would lose your hair, I didn’t know much else. It is so much more than that though. Having leukaemia is watching your family and friends not know what to say around you. Then saying the wrong thing but you pretend like everything is fine. You have to listen to everyone tell you about people who have survived knowing that the statistics are not on your side. It is about being stuck in a hospital that you are not allowed to leave. Having your work, study and every other commitment taken away from you. It’s about feeling lost, like you will never find that person you used to be again. Being careful when you have always being carefree. You can’t say ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ because it will probably kill you. It is about watching your body and muscles waste away and you can’t do anything to stop it. It is about having nausea so bad that you can’t move for fear of throwing up. That that nausea will last for months. That the doctors will tell you that chemotherapy alone isn’t going to cure you. That you have to have a bone marrow transplant from your sister to have a chance at cure. Something that takes a year to recover from and will probably make you infertile. It is having decide if you want kids in your future at 21. It is having scars that you don’t think will ever fully heal. It is about not being able to hug the man you love because it physically hurts and then emotionally hurts so much more. It’s about being tired. So tired that getting a glass of water exhausts you. It is trying to find something about to be happy about and finding nothing. It is trying to be alive when you feel dead inside.

There can be good outcomes to forcing yourself to eat a meal outside of the house #recovery #bonemarrowtransplant #day38 #leukaemia #cancer

Some days just suck #fucancer #bonemarrowtransplant #day32

Looking to support from my cat for my spontaneous vomiting #fucancer #bonemarrowtransplant #day29 #leukaemia #cancer