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@theablazearcher
reasons.
life goes on.

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“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”
— Zora Neale Hurston (b. 7 January 1891)
healed
i think of the time when you walked away
and when it took all the strength that i had
not to pursue your faded footsteps
i sat down on the bench in departure lounge
thinking how my life line went up to the sky
and left me grounded, taking my wings with our final kiss
sure as hell was i that i'll see you again one day
but
it's been 2 years and now i can barely recall your brother's name
shattered
i shattered the mirror for i hate what i see
i was watching the blood dripping on my skin
and i don't why days like this one happens
when my enemy is within me
i could pray but why would He listen
to some witch who cursed his name not once
shouting million times "god why"
feeling like i couldn't be further from eden
so i look at the pieces of broken glass
and i see broken me thinking how funny it is
that i care this much about picking up the glass
but i can't find anyone who'd care about picking me
train
i'm waiting for the great love
one that will move mountains and make me wanna soar
one that will wipe tears from my cheeks, take my arm and say "it's all right"
and though i hear whispers of loneliness
that shakes her head with pity, seeing me demanding the impossible
i stubbornly wait in silence
balancing on the edge of madness
and I keep going
i'm not getting off the train even when it's empty
i wait patiently for the end station
deeply believing that solitude is only
a stop

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it's me again
“What do you want from me?”, she asked me.
“I tried, I really tried to leave, but every time something tells me to turn around”, I said.
“So you’re here again.”
“Yes, I’m here again.”
“For how long this time?”
“Oh, I have no idea. It depends”, I said uncertainly.
“Depends on what?”
“On whether someone will tear down the wall.”
“My dear, we both know that this is not the case", she smiled.
“No?”
“No. The wall has been torn down many times. And you ... you extended a leg out of it few times ... maybe not a leg ... more a finger ...”
“And?”
“And nothing. As I said, it’s not about tearing the wall, but about crossing what’s left of it.”
“I crossed it once ...”, I said sadly.
“You thought you did but it was just a stumble.”
“So, what now?”
“We are waiting”, she sighed.
“Will you wait with me?”
“Of course.”
“You know, I’d like to leave but ...”
“Yes yes, I know. But you are afraid", she interrupted me, “One would think that it’s me who you should be afraid of.”
“You’re not that bad", I said faintly.
“You’re saying it now because you’ve missed me. A bit more and you’ll change your mind.”
“You’re probably right. Still, it’s good to know that you’re not moving anywhere from here, that you always wait for me.”
“Well I’m nothing without you. I can’t exist without you. Where else would I go?”, she asked harshly.
“I don’t know.”
“Anyway, how do you feel?”
“How can I feel being here with you?”, I gave her dirty look.
“Right.”
“But I don’t lose hope.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake!”, she cried out.“Hope! Favorite slogan of people who are not capable of facing the reality.”
“You sound bitter.”
“I’m sorry, should I be stroking your head?”, she rolled her eyes.
“No, but a little sympathy would not hurt.”
“I sympathize with you like no one does.”
“Tell me, do you feel sorry for me?”, I asked her after a moment of silence.
“No.”
“Do you pity me?”
“Why, no!”, she laughed.
“Then why am I here with you?”
“Who on earth would you be with if not with me?”
I became silent.
Loneliness gave me a triumphant smile.
"This is, after all, what we're fighting for, isn't it? A second chance at joy"
Tahereh Mafi
Dreamscaping
i'd give you the moon
Night
I turn my back on you
making sure you hear me laughing out loud
I walk with my head held high, leaving you down there somewhere
in the pit that I do not look into
in the pit that I dug up to bury us
and everything is "great yeah I'm really moving on"
only at night
I draw the curtains
howl to the walls
bite my pillow
die of love
Faith
I swear that I've tried
that I was deaf to those who screamed "run away"
that I put all my hopes into your rough hands
and when you told me to dance, I danced to your melody
and when you said "get lost", i couldn't find myself
but on your mark, i was right back on my knees, crawling the path leading straight to you
and i whispered foolish prayers into your lips
it was until the storm, that was so enormous it destroyed my world
but when it threw me, soaking in tears, ashore
I was surprised to discover
that there are other worlds too

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not giving up just giving in
Peaceful
at first I feel coldness and it hurts
then comes the numbness
and I go deeper deeper
last breath taken
I'm gone
and I think I'm crying with happiness but I'm not sure when these salty waters mix
there is a pressure here as well but different kind
this weight in the chest
crushing me
I know it'll be gone soon
oh how quiet it is
after drowning on the surface
I feel safe underneath
space
and I can't look at the map any other way
can't help but count the miles and watch them laugh in my face
I see it that way - the world has only 2 continents
the one where You are and the one where You're not
so I stare and I begin to notice
that this space between us
is all that's left between us