things that make you go [crashing, screaming, crying]

what the fuck is it going to take to be loved? Like truly, obsessively, mutually, and deeply loved? i am so so sick of dating apps and hoping and putting in time and effort for nothing. i match with someone a state over and we talk every day for weeks (maybe months i have no sense of time) and i catch feelings, one day he pulls the “sorry i’m not answering i am trying to not be on socials as much” and pulls back so we eventually just stop talking -> i send a quick thing weeks later bc i missed him -> tell him i caught feelings and get back “i was into you, but didn’t think you were into me”………. Even though we talked? every day? for weeks ??? and i get a “was” to clearly tell me it’s not gonna happen now? how much more of this is it gonna take like how many unanswered messages and unrequited things and useless lazy unintelligent men who don’t give a fuck and do nothing but waste my time… i’m so so so tired and so sad bc i really did like this person and even though we don’t live close i let myself hope and let myself imagine what could be and i feel like a stupid child and so hopeless bc even though it’s one stupid thing with one stupid person, i got my hopes up

“Right now, my heart is his heart.”