The 20-Something Wives

Hey there!

I sat on this question a while. Mostly because I was like…”hmm am I “qualified” to answer this?” Mainly because, I don’t think that there is one perfect couple. I don’t! And I was like snap. I don’t wanna be portrayed as that… So I thought this over and wanted to make it a little long because I really value that someone came to me for advice!

With those things being said, so everyone is aware-I, nor my spouse, are in fact perfect, here’s some things I’ve learned in 5 years of marriage…

1. Respect each other. Just do it. If you wouldn’t say it to a stranger, don’t say it to spouse. Or friend. Or kid. Just don’t. Respect them. Ask yourself if you would want your spouse to say certain things to you? Or about you? Or behind your back? Or spread your business. 2. Next… Keep your private life private. Facebook and everything else is so great for updating. But people don’t need to know when you’re mad because Greg forgot your birthday or Betsy was being a jerk. The way to keep ANY relationship solid (friendship, romantic, otherwise) is go STRAIGHT to the source when you’re mad. Don’t involve others. They can develop a biased opinion and sway you, or become irrational, or cause an issue that wouldn’t even be there. Because only YOU know Greg and Betsy intimately. Not them. 3. Guard your heart. That’s simple. But do it. When things are hard between you and your spouse, turn towards them, not someone else. 4. Don’t stop dating. And flirting. And having fun!5. Marriage is NOT 50/50. We aren’t “50/50” people. I don’t know about you, but somedays I don’t feel 100. I don’t feel like trying with anything. I just feel sad or grumpy or whatever. We all go through different seasons. And that includes you or your spouse. Maybe you’re struggling with depression or you’ve fallen on hard times. Maybe you or your spouse has lost someone.. Maybe you and your spouse have fallen into a rut. When one of you falters, it’s not, I did my part! He’s not doing his!” You pick up the slack. You are each other’s rock for a reason. It doesn’t mean that you’ll both be constantly strong. You’re human. You know each others weaknesses. If you feel something is happening, or your losing interest, or he/she is… Date them! Try! Pick up the slack. Sometimes marriage is hard. Sometimes friendship is. Sometimes LIFE is. You don’t put in “half” and then wait. You pick up the slack when your spouse can’t. Being married is about constantly falling in love over and over. I know a lot of marriages face trials because we fall into ruts. Monday through Friday same ol same ol. same date. Same day. Same same same. But remember, you married that same person for a reason. Date them. Explore life with them. adventure. Picnic. Joke. Laugh. Have fun. Talk passions and fears… And give them the same slack you give yourself.