Space Noodlin' It @the-unkindled-queen - Tumblr Blog

If you guys want to take a look at my writing, here’s my AO3 page!

https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUnkindledQueen

#my fics #kind of want to pin this since it seems like my stuff gets lost a bit lol #i always love and appreciate all your support #even if my communication is just ridiculous i want to respond to each and every one of you! :))

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Big fan of Haligtree lawn chairs.

#elden ring #my gameplay #think loretta tried sitting in one of these

daenerystargayen

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON S03E02 — “Queen’s Landing”

#house of the dragon #drinkies

gameofthronesdaily

DRAGONS appearance in HOUSE OF THE DRAGON Season 3 teaser trailer

#house of the dragon #i need dragon designs for reference #how i want umbrasax to move and look

I can't imagine how many people died or got lost in this snowfield.

#elden ring #my gameplay

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robotmango

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

awed-frog

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

robotmango

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

scarylullabies

I think I’ve reblogged this before, but “the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature” is fucking poetry

piranesiandtheother-deactivated

ninety nine???? thats IT????????? buddy here in the 7th circle of h*ck, California, we get up to at LEAST 110 degrees every single gosh darned summer. the bugs seek revenge. the sun wreaks havoc on the mere mortals it surveys. every plant has turned brown in its thirst for water. the very air itself has been sucked dry of every drip of moisture it ever had.

ninety nine degrees. you weak fool.

robotmango

well since you asked so politely, let’s talk about something very important vis a vis weather-hotness that you clearly ain’t ever heard of, called

humidity

oh alas, you say. oh papa, whatever shall i do, it is ever so hotte and drye in california. the very air hath been sucked of all its moisturey droplets and whatnot.* one hundredy and tennith desiccated degrees!

*(yo, drought is serious. i am pretty obviously not making fun of that.)

alright. let’s check it out. here’s a random california city, right about now:

thirty-two percent. and here’s a random mid-atlantic city located somewhere in the wet fleshy crease behind a demon’s knee*:

*(confession: i do not live in dc, but several years ago i spent three weeks steaming like a tinned ham in arlington in august. none of the pants i took with me could ever keep a crease again.)

huh! funny thing! “see, dc’s actually seven degrees COOLER,” you say, because you’ve obviously never gone outside and taken a deep lungful of wet sock trash air in your life. and now for added bliss, here’s what early wednesday morning’s gonna be like for these poor clowns:

that’s right! eighty-two percent humidity! the point at which showers no longer matter, because you’re all caught in God’s grease trap! just stressed human eels miserably slip slidin’ their way through a damp melty bathwater-flavored hellscape that feels like it’s actively sous viding their top layer of skin! a hundred thousand people packed into public transit breathing air that feels like deepthroating swamp thing! and you wanna talk to me about fuckin california!

[cue science voice]: human bodies cool through evaporation, a process by which the body sweats and sweet invisible angels towel us off, whisking away our unwanted moisture into the air and literally chilling us out. (it’s also why air conditioned air feels so fucking deliciously refreshing: it’s not just being cooled, it’s being conditioned, aka, dehumidified. it’s cool dry air.) but. if the air is already made out of fucking chowder and can’t absorb shit then guess what the fuck our bodies can’t do.

so is this weak fool gonna remain indoors and hydrated through this only medium-hot but fuckoff-humid season? you bet your dried out ass.

maximumsunshine

This is poetry.

thebibliosphere

I fucking laughed till I cried so hard I had to take my glasses off. Jesus Christ that’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen all week.

gallusrostromegalus

As someone who lives in a high desert and has had a few Ohioan summers inflicted on me-

I will GLADLY take 105 and the 5% or less humidity I had in Durango, wherein the outer layer of my entire epidermis dried and split like the scorched earth out in the parking lot, leaving me looking like I’d been assaulted by an SFX artist high on 5 hour energy-blasted Monster whilst napping but it was REEEEEEAAL and every movement caused me to split like a tectonic plate and Ooze some unmentionable substance, than EVER be subjected to humidity over 80% again.

#i was gonna say '76 isn't that bad' and then i saw the humidity like jesus christ

vexheart

the rain knows all my secrets

djbodyhorror

do british people with mommy kinks moan mummy ... You're having sex and suddenly The Ghoul is involved? I'd be so scared

#british humor is something

jetthead70

eyeatgarbage

#dark souls #lords blade ciaran

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I do find it interesting sometimes when you're called "hetphobic" for not liking a specific straight ship. Like, honey, I don't hate straight ships. I hate YOUR straight ship.

#you too old to be throwing that word around so freely

Ciaran's items are great.

Ciaran's items are more or less true to her as a person.

Even though I don't believe she and Artorias were canon - though I do like the ship between them - Ciaran is allowed to maintain some semblance of her identity despite having not a lot of lore to her name. She has dialogue, she has a purpose all her own.

I'll not speak of the believed "parallel's" between her and another character that I was told of. They're not there. Ciaran is so much better.

#dark souls #lords blade ciaran #like i do actually like the ship between her and artorias #and i feel like people develop her so much better #again i dont believe they were canon in fact i dont think they could be #if you consider artorias' purpose #he left sif to fight manus after all #and he felt closer to sif than anyone else

greiilock

warmth✨

#elden ring #melina #tarnished

One thing I noticed is the statues before Loretta's arena are facing one direction away and hiding Miquella's face. But the rest are not. Weird.

#elden ring #my gameplay #huh

Elphael definitely feels much older than Miquella and Malenia both.

#elden ring #my gameplay

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greiilock

Queen eternal

#elden ring #marika the eternal

rubyvroom

Yeah, it's time to get this post out again

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