high hopes

i might be a bit fucked up but i swear i have a good heart

it takes me like 3 days to wake up in the morning

85% tired 15% also tired

Selbst im Kampf mit meiner eigenen Fantasie, fällt der Hoffnungsträger durch das Schwert der scheiß Melancholie.

If somebody ever did love me I’m not sure I would know what to do. How do I hold someone else’s heart in my hands when I’ve been so reckless with my own?

Waves of nostalgia washed over me today, showing my past to me in a rose haze and I could not help but wish it gone. Nostalgia is a dreadful thing that clouds our judgement of the past and bitters our present with its whisperings telling us, reminding us of all that was good or all that was bad but could have been good had we tried a little more.

its scary when your mood drops, just how fast all the self-destructive thoughts come back even when you’ve worked so hard to counter them

i need to stop overthinking it

it’s all fun and games until the consequences of impulses catch up to me

I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.