Hail Yourself!

Marcus: When I was a kid, Gertrude was the name of an old witch that my grandfather said lived in the abandoned house at the far end of the ranch.

Henry: Meanwhile, you know back in the day when Gertrude had that snapper out there when she was hangin’ em high and stuff, back in the day Gertrude was hot,

Ben: Sure!

Henry: that’s how it always is, and now it’s coming back around, now everyone is named Mildred and Berthel and stuff like that. Now we’re gonna have 80-year old Nicolettes and Allisons.

Marcus: I just can’t wait until nursing homes are filled with Stephanies and Ashleys.

Henry: Yes.

Ben: That’s fine, I will name my kid Herbert, Herb, I like that name, it was my grandfather’s name.

Marcus: Oh, Herbert, Herb is a real good name, Heeerb Kissel!

Ben: Heeerb Kissel, he was always a good farm hand.

Henry: Mine’s gonna be Skeletons.

Ben: You’re gonna name your kid Skeletons?

Henry: Yeah, multiple Skeletons.

Ben: You think that’s a good thing for them to go through life being named Skeletons?

Henry: They better start working HARD in order to get over what has already been done to them.

Ben: That is the premise of “A Boy Named Sue”.

gourmet fuckin fruit gels: what’s the nicest gift someone’s given you?

jacket slut: what’s your favorite piece of clothing?

teal roots: have you ever dyed your hair?

awkward knees: how tall are you?

in a musical sense: are you dating anyone?

i just put my hand in a cupcake: favorite dessert?

you can fight me for an apple: ever mispronounced something embarrassing?

b*b bryar: have you ever been betrayed?

oh frankie??: what was the weirdest surprise you’ve ever gotten?

i got some salt water in my eye: tell me something random

goin to get coffee: what’s one thing you can’t live without?

miss the last high five: do you have any weird superstitions?

are ya ready ray??: who are your best friends?

Ben waves from across the parking lot, walks over, and Marcus is taken by how very tall he is. “Hi, Marcus Parks. I’m Ben. The uh, trucker who calls in?”

“I figured.” Marcus wasn’t sure what to expect from Ben in person, but the scruffy red hair and appled cheeks does not disappoint. “How’d ya know it was me?” “Oh, I uh. Googled you.”

Marcus quirks a brow, grinning. “You ‘googled’ me?”

“Yeah, and your picture was up on the station’s website.” “Are you stalking me, Benjamin?” Marcus drops into the low purr he uses when Ben calls and he wants to hear the man get flustered. It’s so much more rewarding to watch it happen though; Ben’s face goes bright red, eyes wide, shoulders bunch up. “No! I wanted to make sure-” “That I was your type?” “-That I knew who I was looking for today, Jesus Marcus!” Marcus laughs, partly out of relief. This is going better than he anticipated. “Not too sure about that. Calling every night AND searching for pictures of me online? How do I know there’s not some kinda shrine to me up in your semi?”

Ben groans, rolling his eyes. “Well, you’re WELCOME to check if you’re so worried about it-” The teasing tone is replaced with real interest. “I can go into your truck?”

“Yeah, of course, if you want.”