The Scrypt Keyper

ancient relics

…Childhood…It hurts…

obsolete life hacks

man i need to relax *puts on terrifying stressful horror podcast*

I have realized that the perfect form of media must have a delicate balance between absolutely heart wrenching pure emotional devastation and the most ridiculous nonsense you have ever seen in your whole life

The thing is. I would eat the grapes. I would eat the pomegranate seeds. I would eat the Turkish delights. It doesn’t matter what the stakes are if you put a little plate of snacks out in front of me I’ll eat them.

If you sent me to an evil fantasy realm and told me that if I ate anything I would die a painful terrible death then set a charcuterie board down in front of me that would be it for me. Like it wouldn’t even be like a torturous internal struggle to not eat the cheese. I wouldn’t even need to be that hungry.

were I a figure in a Greek tragedy I simply would not eat unidentifiable meat at a banquet unless all my relatives were accounted for

There's gotta be a better way of talking about fatigue cause I'll be standing there in the fucking trenches like thousand yard stare and I explain this as "I didn't sleep well last night." & everyone's just like "lol that's Sleepy Kurt! Why don't you go to bed earlier" I'll kill us both

I've never slept well in my life I'm haunted by visions this is a symptom of like five different things wrong with me and nobody takes it seriously because all I can say is "I'm tired" if I had enough energy I would snap one of these days

"a child's school lunch debt" is a string of words that should instantly radicalize anyone, burning through the fog of bullshit like a ten quadrillion-candlepower spotlight. and yet...