Sylvia Plath, in a letter to Ruth Tiffanny Beuscher written c. July 1962
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@the-red-mess
Sylvia Plath, in a letter to Ruth Tiffanny Beuscher written c. July 1962

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"You are crazy, a psychopath, you are cruel and you hurt others."
Yeah, I'm this monster.
you're right.
I know,
you know
and everybody knows.
The Psycho, the crazy, the cruel, the monster.
I don't want to hurt anyone else.
That's it,
the finally.
Imam Al-Ghazali // Tennessee Williams
Suzanne Scanlon, from "Committed: On Meaning and Madwomen," published in 2024
sometimes I want to say "I'want to leave the city"...
but I know you won't understand what I'm talking about...

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- maybe I'm the problem..
"maybe you are!"
a stab in my eye would hurt less.
sometimes I just wish I could sleep forever...
sobrevivi a muita coisa para ir embora em silêncio
deixem que um meteoro me leve
chamem um raio como reforço
minha morte vai ser um evento
a terra vai rachar ao meio
o sol vai ruir por dentro
- o dia em que eu partir

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As vezes eu penso sobre a culpa que carrego comigo, tanto pelas coisas erradas que fiz quanto pelas coisas boas que não fiz.
Tenho notado que ultimamente não tenho tido tempo e nem chances para ser triste ou sentir os sentimentos que me deixam pra baixo, no lugar disso tenho comido meus próprios sentimentos como quem come um prato de almoço após ficar 3 dias de jejum, é isso éde certa forma demasiadamemte desesperador, realmente.
Sinto que essa culpa, esse buraco em mim jamais sumirá, e talvez um dia ele me consuma, talvez eu apenas não me sinta bem o suficiente, talvez eu só esteja cansada demais para não ser triste.
Talvez eu só sinta que essa agonia é as vezes suficiente para que eu pense em acabar com tudo.
Talvez seja isso.
Talvez.
Today I was talking with my therapist
she said "if you tried to do it so many times, it's because it's not have to happens"
Isn't happen is not the point.

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one time, someone say to me "if everyone leaves you, they are not the problem"
when I tell it's to her, she said "It's not true"
but now she said she was wrong about it.
I was in the bath, thinking about it, about everything, and that's it,
I'm the problem. Not my "problems" are the problem.
I'm.
It's really hard for me to say how I feel.