Chronic Illness Bias

The past month feels like an eternity. An eternity filled with stress, painful flares, more stress, pushing beyond my limits physically, and let’s toss a tad more stress like a cherry on top. Original plan was to use the dumpster bag hubby bought to get rid of all the crappola we have around the house & very quickly realized we needed an actual big dumpster. Ordered dumpster delivery with pickup 7 days later, went through 90% of the house & tried to break my foot over the weekend whilst dragging things to the garage. Dumpster arrived as teen & I arrived home Monday after a monumentally stressful first visit with a new doctor. I made lasagna to eat that night and yesterday because I felt a flare coming on Sunday evening. The doctor thing sent me over the edge & although I’ve resolved that issue over the phone yesterday while doing laundry I’m still locked in this pain flare. ~ Today I managed to box up & ship a huge box to my grandkids, helped teen finish going through her room & do a bit in the craft/game room, and take out meat to make cheeseburgers for dinner. ~ That’s it. I’ve been on the sofa lounging. Trying to allow myself to rest while the Imodium works magic. All the dust from the insane amount of cleaning/moving of things has caused a nonstop allergy headache with slightly elevated temp. ~ Definitely need to feel better tomorrow because I haven’t much time left to keep the teen motivated to constantly (I’m sure that’s how she feels right now) go through all the accumulated junk and make 3 piles (donate/trash/keep). ~ As for my personal stuff, I have 2 bookcases and several boxes to go through before I’m done and I can easily do that over the weekend before dumpster is picked up. ~ #painflare #chronicpain #chronicillness #hypermobility #fibromyalgia #bipolar #adhd #anxiety #arthritis #enthesitis #chronicdiarrhea #hashimotos https://www.instagram.com/p/ChF17NcObTJ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

So neighbors started setting off fireworks last night after they watched evening news. Not just one neighbor. Multiple neighbors. Not the sparkly fireworks. The whistling Pete’s and firecrackers. Noise did not stop until after 11. My soul flinched with every pop. In my dreams the popping continued until things went nightmarish. Civil war for the second time in this young country. Upon waking this morning the feeling of impending chaos/danger is strong and with good reason. #trulytheend #scarredandscared https://www.instagram.com/p/CfOr3Cmuoa_/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

The end result of a week in the U.P. sunshine! I’m overly tired, but enjoyed every second of seeing my brother and communing with nature! The whippoorwills serenaded me every night (second pic/vid - sound up) as I crocheted on a travel project. Now ensconced in my hotel room just shy of 1/2 way home and awaiting the arrival of a friend so we can go grab dinner out. #chronicallytraveling #whipporwills #puremichigan #upmichigan #upperpeninsulamichigan #naturegirl #lovethesunshine #gonnahavetopayforthislater #flareonthehorizon https://www.instagram.com/p/CemmjjBskT0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Just leaving this right here. #logic https://www.instagram.com/p/CeNBos4MnU3/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

7+ hours of nonstop noise. Dining room is finished! Waiting on some felt pads so I can put my corner china hutch back in there along with several other ornamental tables. I’m completely exhausted from the noise. Thankfully hubby came home to relieve me so I could go pick teen up from school. I had a whopping 75 minutes of no pounding sounds. Just enough time to get my head and tummy to settle a bit. It did turn out nice I think. I also ordered a big round area rug for under the table/chairs that I believe is being delivered next week Tuesday. Photos are from start to finish. #homerenovations #solidhickory #lovingit #nowtorest #chronicillness #chronicpain #invisibleillness https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd6caXBODuY/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

My nails had been torn up bad the last manicure I had gotten so it’s been nearly 4-5 months of slowly growing out and cutting off all the damaged stuffs before I could finally paint them myself today! This is my weird idea of pampering myself. Pretty new nail polish! {and not that anyone asked, but yes, I have vitiligo & it’s spreading rapidly now} https://www.instagram.com/p/Cdv0Id0u_-K/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

I mostly cleaned the kitchen today. Spent about an hour breaking down boxes, putting various items away, sorting through leftover things, taking garbage out, organizing all the ‘keep’ things, wiping the table down, vacuuming the rug, sweeping the rest of the floor, did dishes, and finally mopped the kitchen. Once I finished that I was beat/wiped out and have spent the last hour or so working on getting this throw blanket finished. 3 more rounds to go, then tuck the loose ends in, and it will be 100% completed! #chronicpain #invisibleillness #cleaning #pacing #trying https://www.instagram.com/p/CdZASChusl8/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Bathroom is officially done because I cleaned it! Before & after pics! What y’all think? Nice change or too bright? #homefacelift #bathroomdecor https://www.instagram.com/p/Ccqbrgiu-eW/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Doors are done, just finishing drying (makes them not look evenly coated in pics, but they are in person). And then there’s the stupid shelf thingy on the divider 1/2 wall which was going great until the paint roller slipped and stripped a sizable chunk of paint off. In the pic you can see I tried to salvage it by painting over the spot, but I’m going to have to sand it down & repaint it in the morning before I tape the rest of the trim & paint it too. Still have a sore throat, very hoarse voice, and a teensy tiny fever now. Will be chilling for the foreseeable future aside from finishing the painting tomorrow. #chronicillness #finishingtouches https://www.instagram.com/p/CclvwjquaOj/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Today’s doings! Drank the ☕️ Tossed on a minimum of clothing Sanded a 8x16 inch board so I can paint Filled my gas tank Grabbed food & iced coffee Drove to pick up a grocery order Put the few cold/frozen items away And now I’m wiped out! How can so little wipe a person out so badly???? I still have: Pharmacy & warehouse pickups Painting that board & probably the bi-fold linen closet doors Feeding my teen something (I have whatever to eat for myself here in the house) Clean my mess in bathroom Bathing/showering us Passing the he!! out for the night hopefully (last night was baaaaaaad for sleeping!) Sending everyone low pain & high energy vibes with what little energy I have left! Y’all are welcome to my reserves! 💋💋💋 #chronicpain #chronicillness #invisibleillness https://www.instagram.com/p/CclDK59OGYI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

How my Monday was supposed to go… Laundry/dishes/couple phone calls How my Monday is going… Laundry Dishes Phone call to lab Phone call to Dream Cloud to return mattress (57 minutes later…) Pick up copy results from lab Race to dr office only to find they’re closed for lunch for another 30 minutes (which I can’t spare) Called my stylist from the car & made appointment for a cut/trim at a time today that means every second counts Back home to see I have a voicemail & text message letting me know my dining set is ready to be delivered Call them and schedule for this Wednesday Realize my new dining floor hasn’t been scheduled as yet so new dining set will be set up, moved out, moved back at some point ~ And now to quick fold a load of laundry & go pick teen up a bit early to make my hair appointment before going home to finish folding laundry & making dinner! ~ Me: Could my day get any worse? Universe: Hold my beer… ~ It got worse…. Had a hemorrhoid burst using the bathroom before the long drive to pick up teen from school & then hit a whiteout (yes it’s snowing here) which astronomically increased my anxiety to multiple panic attacks that forced me to take meds for it whilst driving & call to cancel my hair appointment. Then got to her school, meds kicked in hard, drove back through the whiteout, and since I was feeling better I called and reinstated my hair appointment. I am now home with freshly trimmed hair, dinner done in crockpot, last load in dryer warming back up before I fold it, and me on sofa ready for a nice long nap. #chronicmonday #chronicpain #chronicillness #invisibleillness https://www.instagram.com/p/CcgRvSCOKhX/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

What painsomnia looks like for me. 3:15a, on the sofa, waiting for pain relief to kick in to facilitate finding the comfiest of uncomfortable positions, and the sweet relief of sleep. It’s nearly 10a right now and I managed about 4 hours broken sleep on the sofa. Would have gone back up to bed but didn’t want to be crashing around as I stumbled/fell into our bed. 🤞🏻 I get better sleep tonight! #chronicpain #invisibleillness #painsomnia https://www.instagram.com/p/CcdGZAGOPjT/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

I can’t even begin to express how thoroughly upset I am at this moment. After getting everything straightened out/up so I could have a relaxing day today (massage/adjustment/nap), the swamp rat (aka our cat Squeakers) decided to smear his poopy butt all over the house at some point while we were sleeping. His butt is covered in poo too! I do not have the necessary patience, strength, or time to deal with cleaning everything up (including him) today without having to cancel the very things I absolutely need to do to feel better. I grumble tell hubby what’s happened & how I just don’t even know how I’m going to get everything done so I can still make my *time for me* appointments. I quick get dressed and make the drive to drop teen at school in the pounding rain. I just got home from dropping my teen off. As I opened the garage door I saw my hubby’s car, which was weird as it should have been gone because it was way past time for him to be at work. As I go into the house I hear the shampooer running full speed, turn and look, and there he is shirtless whilst shampooing all the poo trails the swamp rat Squeakers left all over the house! All that’s left for me to do is quick mop the tiles in kitchen & assess the kitty’s backside whenever I can manage to find him! What literally was turning out to be a sh!tty day turned itself around quite nicely! #celebratingthehubby #icanbreathenow #partnerstiltheend https://www.instagram.com/p/CcVTCvfuQZF/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

In the car this morning dropping teen at school. OMG the sun was blinding me! Managed to get home, run some errands, back home, made some phone calls, need to do the dishes… but I don’t wanna just yet… thinking I’ll just do a bit of crocheting instead 😆 Call it self care in the form of yarn! #thechronicpainmask #chronicpain #chronicillness #invisibleillness https://www.instagram.com/p/CcQVbzjOTMK/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

My latest project. Turning fine cotton yarn into a beautiful lightweight couch throw for our new sofa set. Between an insane amount of rounds on the throw I cooked up a pork roast to have as BBQ pulled pork sandwiches tomorrow & made smothered chicken w/mashed potatoes for our dinner tonight. I also emptied dishwasher, refilled it, wiped counters down, did some hand wash of delicates, and managed to remember to feed our cats 🤪 Went and got my 2nd Covid booster yesterday and had been feeling yucky ouchie most of today, but after dinner things seem to have dissipated quite a bit. Hoping for a wonderfully deep long sleep tonight! #chronicpain #chronicillness #invisibleillness #covidbooster https://www.instagram.com/p/CcJqrtLsoGd/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Sofa set delivered, dining & bath rooms painted, new hardware/curtains installed, new light fixture in dining room installed, matching bath towels purchased/washed/installed, wood flooring picked out for dining room, estimator coming tomorrow afternoon for the flooring to be measured, and new dining set *should* be here within a week of getting the wood flooring installed. I still need to put pictures/clocks up in the freshly painted rooms & will be doing the bathroom trim painting Easter weekend. Between the insane flurry of upgrades on the cheap in the house I’ve been crocheting/cooking/*mostly* keeping up on general housework/laundry/dr appointments. Speaking of dr appointments, I have met with my new pain management doctor & we truly clicked! I could see myself having his family over for dinner/drinks while we chat til the sun comes up! He’s very energetic like me, chatty like me, funny like me, and about as approachable as a newborn kitten! I feel quite blessed to have been referred to him by my previous dr that retired. Well that’s about all the updating on my end until the balance of work on the house is 100% complete. #chronicpain #chronicillness #invisibleillness #keeponkeepingon https://www.instagram.com/p/CcGMCo1uUtK/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

This is the morning after a seriously hectic day yesterday. Had contractor over to paint 2 rooms (main bathroom & dining room), hang 3 curtain rods, and swap out old for new dining room lighting. Bathroom is painted (I’ll be doing the trim painting in there myself in a couple weeks) & some items put back on the walls. Exhaust fan/light, curtain rod, and wood cabinet still need putting up in there. Dining room has not yet been started, but it’s an easy peasy room - tape things off & start rolling! Before he arrived I quickly emptied the bathroom & did a medium cleaning on it (omg that was a chore!), took up painting supplies for that room, ran to hardware store for extra forgotten supplies & ran those upstairs, then had to move dining chairs to kitchen & vacuum the walls/floor in the dining room. Was 3/4 done when he arrived. Then there was the up/down the stairs to bring him some miscellaneous tools from my tool chest & check progress. The day ended with us going out to eat (kitchen was full of dining room stuff), calling teen off school (bathtub unusable for the night & she’s a nightmare to get showered), my taking a shower, & all of us going to bed earlier than average. Today I was planning on doing laundry, putting finishing touches on both freshly painted rooms, getting my 2nd Covid booster, and making a light dinner - plans change or rather, plans have to change. New plan is to start laundry, hit hardware store to order/pick out dining room flooring, meet contractor here at 10 to finish things off, rescheduled my booster for this Friday, finish laundry, hang new curtains in both rooms, set hubby up to put bathroom items back in bathroom, still making that light dinner before getting the teen set to bathe, and then tossing everyone in their beds! ~ Right now everything hurts and, yes, I think I’m about to die 😆 Will tomorrow be better? Stay tuned to find out! ~ EDIT!!! Now the teen is feeling sickly so instead of laundry, we’re at urgent care to play the hurry up & wait game until sometime around 12-1p… Oh the joys of parenthood! #parenthood #specialneedsmom #chronicpain #chronicillness #invisibleillness #notimpressed https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb-S01aOduu/?utm_medium=tumblr